FALLING OUT OF LOVE

Dear Child

I was at your house, I went to your room, the memories rushed into me like a heavy wind. I didn't cry, no I won't cry anymore. I sat on your bed, with the calmness in my heart. I turned but only to realize you weren't their to careers my cheeks or brush my hair with your hand. I gave a sad smile. I walked round the room, remembering those rough and calm kisses at every corner of your room. I went to your book shelf, letting my hand gently touch every book. When you read those books to me when I couldn't sleep, even when you were tired. I took our favorite book, the one we shared together, our love album. All the our pictures we shared. I sat on your bed reading every writing. I reached to that special page we had both promise to open when our child was born of the right age. I hadn't realized tears rolled down my cheeks as I read each line:
Dear child,
We promise to hold you when you fall, make you strong. Let you learn from your mistake, understand every smile. Let you understand us. If your ever depressed, let you make decision. Be their when you need us, even when your scared. Promise never to abuse you or neglect you. To pray dearly for you, help you make choices. To let every pain you feel bring happiness at the end. We're already there when you need us, take a look around, every shadow on the ground.
Will be their to the end, be your imaginary friend.
Emily: I'll show you my scars, all the marks I had inflated on myself, tell you my deepest fears, promise to always care. I will love you and your dad dearly, let you be free to live. You can count on me my child, always be that shield and never let you down.
Chase: I'll show you how a father treats their little boy, make you feel love, always be their, teach you everything you need to know, make you learn more about life, hold you up like a father. Let you in, never shut the door at your face. Take you to every game, play soccer with you, wear your favourite colour, have every free moment. Be the best man I can be, teach you to be gentle and brave like your dad. Most importantly I promise to keep the two treasure always, never to walk away from you and your mother.
Love you
Aiden.
I closed the book gently, I hadn't realized I was crying, I let the tears out, I wasn't afraid to cry this time. I wrapped myself into a ball, lying on your bed, I placed the book to my chest, I sobbed quietly. I just realize how cold your room was without your present. I held the book tightly, slowly wrapping myself in your blanket, it still smelt like you. I embraced it, I couldn't sob no more. I felt the pain, I embraced it this time. I couldn't cry but instead I let the pain of loosing you make me feel warm. I knew you were here, I knew you were wrapped around me. I could feel the warmth of you around me. I smiled as I became warmer, I smiled and cuddled deeper into your bed.
And for once I was happy, happy since you left, I feel warm knowing that you didn't leave me, I feel better, no, I feel great.
I'll always love you Chase Adams.

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