Lifelines

Chapter 17

After the whole scene with James and Carson yesterday I had kept on the down low at school and ducked my head in the halls as I moved my way through school the next day. I was the girl James Dawson just broke up with. Many girls showed satisfied smirks which just made me realize how pathetic teenagers could be.

I made my way to the cafeteria and sat all the way in the back at a rickety round table that seemed to be unused for a while. I started to work on some math when Kara sat down in front of me with her lunch tray. Everyone seemed to have their eyes on us but all Kara did was take a bite of her apple and look at what I was working on.

"Ugh, I hate math. I much prefer english or something that requires less thinking." she said and I nodded so she'd know I was listening.

"Why aren't you sitting with-?" I trailed off looking to the table where all her friends sat. I noticed Sandy was sitting at the heart of it and I frowned.

Before I could even ask, Kara cut me off.

"They know." she said simply and it took me a second to know she was talking about the pregnancy.

"Um, how are you feeling?" I put my things away awkwardly and Kara sighed.

"I'm okay. I've been better. I practically throw up every morning and the smell of deli meat makes me nauseous. But, it's not as bad as I'm making it sound." I wasn't really sure how to react to Kara. What do you say to a pregnant teen to make them feel better?

"Do you like peanut butter?" I randomly asked and I saw her eyes light up.

"The baby loves it!" she exclaimed and I ripped my sandwich in half giving her a piece. She gratefully took it and smiled in thanks. I really hope Kara would talk to Luke soon about the baby. To be honest I wasn't sure how he'd handle it.
*****

I walked through the front door and didn't notice a sign indicating anyone was home.

"I'm home!" I yelled to no one in particular and made my way to the kitchen looking for a snack. I ended up settling with some pretzels and turned around surprised to see Luke pouring a drink with headphones in his ears.

"Hey, Luke." I said and he didn't even look my way. How loud was he playing his music?

"Luke? Hello, Lucas. Luke!" I yelled and he quickly turned, startled, making him spill his drink.

He pulled out his headphones, "Gee, thanks." he said sarcastically looking totally dissatisfied by the fact he would have to clean up his mess.

I laughed and went to move past him but he stopped me.

"Wait, I uh saw Kara sit with you today at lunch and you guys walk to a couple classes together." he said and I froze. Did he find out about Kara being pregnant and he was gonna interrogate me with questions about the Dad? Would he know it's his because Kara says he was the only one she's been with?

"She was just wondering when we can hang out. I think she's starting to realize how fake her friends are." That wasn't a complete lie. Kara's friends did betray her by not being by her side during the pregnancy. I know if I was in Kara's shoes, I'd need all the support I could get.

Luke seemed pleased with my answer but before I left I thought maybe I'd do some of my own scooping around.

"So, did you and Kara ever like do it?" I asked and Luke's face seemed like he had no idea what I was talking about. I put my head down and sighed at his cluelessness.

"Did you and Kara ever you know...have sex?" I asked again and Lucas's face flushed red.

"Yeah. I mean, I didn't know then. Something always felt...off about it. I obviously still liked it." he told me but it got me thinking. It was obvious Luke liked boys but maybe he liked girls too. Maybe he felt "off" about the person, not the fact she was a girl.

"Have you ever...with Austin?" I asked and Luke shook his head no.

"Can I be honest with you and you won't tell mom or Carson?" he asked and I hoped to God it wasn't him admitting he got Kara pregnant.

"Sure." I sat down at the breakfast bar across from him and waited for him to speak.

"I'm not sure if I'm gay. Sometimes I look at girls that way too." he told me and I wasn't sure why he made this such a big deal.

"So you're bisexual?" I questioned and he shrugged.

"I'm not really-" "I'm home!" Carson yelled out, stopping Luke from talking. He walked in to see us and scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you guys talking 'bout?" he asked taking the milk out of the fridge and drinking from it.

"Ew, Carson. There are other people that drink that." I scolded and he smirked at me putting it back. I guess I distracted him from whatever question he asked because he took my hand and was dragging me upstairs. I mouthed an apology towards Luke and gave him a look that said we'd talk more later.

Carson pulled me upstairs to his room and closed the door behind us. I was about to ask him what he was doing but he kissed me distracting me from every thought I had.

"What was that for?" I asked and instead of answering me, he kissed me again only this time it was harder and more passionate. A sigh escaped me when he put his hands on my waist.

He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "I wanted to."

I smiled at him and led him over to his bed. No, this is NOT what you're thinking. I seriously just wanted to sit down....and maybe make out a little. We laid down side by side staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, what ever happened with your mom and Robert? Doesn't he have custody over Maggie?" I questioned gently and Carson sighed.

"My mom got half custody of her so I guess Robert just doesn't care." I wanted to remind him how he told him to never come back but maybe this was not the time to bring it up.

"How are things with Byron?" he turned on his side so he could look at me when I spoke.

"I don't know. I haven't spoken to him since my birthday. I'm really happy he's alive and he's here but I'm also so angry at him. He said he tried but stopped when he found out Mom died. It just hurts because he didn't continue looking for me. I was all he had left of her and he gave up." I started to think about Aunt Ray and how I'd haven't spoken to her either.

"I suck." I mumbled to myself and I didn't realize Carson would hear me.

"You don't suck Cassie." he told me but I felt like I could win the award for worst niece and daughter. I mean Luke told me I need to give family chances but sometimes it was hard for me to just forgive.

Carson took my hand and used the other to play with my hair. "I know you probably feel guilty but you shouldn't. If you need time to talk to your Dad or your Aunt, it's understandable. I know I probably wouldn't be able to talk to my Dad if I saw him tomorrow." Carson told me.

I snuggled into his chest a little and breathed a deep breath. He had his arms wrapped around me and we sat in silence for what felt like hours.

"Hey guys!" Luke barged in and I shoved Carson away which ended up with him hitting the floor. Oops. He glared at me and I smiled back nervously. Lucas didn't seem to notice and continued ranting about some reviews he heard about a new superhero movie.

Carson sat up and we kept sneaking each other looks as Luke spoke. We really needed to figure out what this was.