I smiled as I watched Carson march down the stairs in his cap and gown with a diploma in hand.
"So how does it feel to officially be done with the immaturity of high school?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist and he smirked.
"Well, I'm going to miss a couple things. I'm definitely going to miss Mr. Thompson's glare and the failing grades of calculus, but I'm gonna miss seeing this girl everyday." He said and I decided he was in a teasing mood.
"A girl, huh? Should I be jealous?" I questioned and Carson adorably bit his lip.
"Definitely. She's beautiful and smart. The other day she tried this thing..." I covered his mouth, hoping no one heard him.
"Carson!" I shouted playfully and he lightly kissed my lips.
"Why?" I asked suddenly and he was taken off guard.
"Why do you love me?" I asked, pushing the hair from his eyes and he grinned like a child on Christmas.
"I love you, Cassandra Barnes, because you make me want to be a better man everyday. I love you because your intoxicating laugh after I've told the stupidest of jokes. Plus, your smile is beyond gorgeous. I love the way you sound when you're talking about something you love and because you accept me faults and all. You don't care that I'm broken because of my past. I love you because I can be myself with you. I love you because you make me feel good and whole. I love how nervous you make me because I always want to impress you. I love that every time I look at you, my breath is taken away. But most of all, I love you Cassandra Barnes because I can't imagine living without you, but I know now that that's okay." I smiled up at him and pressed my lips to his, hoping to capture how much I care for him.
"Ew! Get a room!" I heard Lucas yell and rolled my eyes when I pulled away from Carson.
"How is he a Dad but still incredibly childish?" I asked him and felt a tap on my leg. We looked down to see Maggie there and Carson swooped her up into this arms.
"Mommy says we need to get going because our recer-kation is at seven." She said and I smiled from her mispronunciation of the word.
"Ready?" He turned to me with a grin and I nodded.
"Of course." I said, lacing his fingers through mine smiling at the ring on my finger.
****
I circled my fingers across Carson's bare chest and looked at the clock.
"Can't you just wait until next semester?" I begged and he kissed my pouty lips.
"I wish but my mom would kill me. No one's home right now. What do you say you and I get cleaned up?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed as he chased me to the bathroom, picking me up and bringing me into the shower with him.
After our romantic time in the bathroom, we came downstairs to see everyone at the kitchen table. People were labeling boxes and taping everything shut and everything hit me all
at once.
Carson was leaving today.
I was snapped out of my haze by Luke who nudged my shoulder playfully, asking many inappropriate questions about the noises they had all previously heard upstairs. My face heated up in embarrassment but all of that went away when I looked up to see Carson staring at me from across the room.
Why couldn't I be a year older?
Through the tears I shoved one last box into the back of Carson's car before closing the trunk door.
He took the next hour saying goodbye to everyone individually and I could see from his conversation with Lucas, he was feeling vulnerable.
He decided to talk to me last, saying it was the one that hurt the most so he wanted to prolong it the best he could but when he walked over to me and everyone had made their way inside, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
"I've got to stop crying about everything. You made me a softie Anderson." I joked and showed a playful smile and this was the first time I saw actual tears form in his eyes.
"I'm gonna miss the jokes you say when you're uncomfortable." He laughed and pulled me in for a hug.
"You'll be back in a month for homecoming, I mean, you're not gonna let the Homecoming Queen down, are you?" I joked.
"Never. I love you." He said and I hugged him tight.
"I love you too. Remember, this tied down thing isn't just for me either. If there's a pretty blonde you want to frisk, go at it." I laughed but the thought really hurt my heart.
Tell him! A voice in my head said and I pushed it away. It'd ruin his future. You can take care of it yourself.
Luke's words from the month before rang through my head and I almost screamed from the frustration I felt. I should tell him how I feel. I should be honest. I should tell him about it.
"Like I could ever be with a blonde. I'm more of a brunette kinda guy." He winked at me and I hugged him once more, holding my tongue from ruining his future forever.
"Don't be a stranger, okay? I love you." He said and kissed my lips lightly.
As he got into the car I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to scream that I love him. I wanted to tell him that going away would only hurt us. I was so conflicted. I was so unsure of what to say. How do I tell him? I need to tell him.
"Carson!" I yelled and when his face snapped up to meet my gaze, my confidence vanished. Gone was the girl that could be honest about everything. I couldn't limit him.
"I love you. Call me when you get there." I said pathetically.
I couldn't tell him I was pregnant. I couldn't tell him I was pregnant with his baby because I am a coward.
YOU ARE READING
Lifelines
Teen Fiction"I'll wait as long as you need." he whispered and I felt myself blush. Carson would wait for me. He wanted me. I cleared my throat a little which made Carson laugh at my awkwardness. "Okay. I'll uh, wait for you too." I said and Carson's face broke...
