Understanding My Heart

Chapter 7

Natsu's POV

Burning.

Scorching heat.

Pain.

Confusion.

Natsu had never once associated heat with pain in his entire life. Heat was fire, fire was his strength. Heat was his weapon. He had complete control over it. He loved it, embraced it, trusted it. He was the master of flames, no fire could wound him.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?!"

The fire dragonslayer clawed at his belly as he stumbled into an ally. This sensation. It felt so wrong. His very being rejected it.

There was a searing heat in his belly.

His chest burned.

And it hurt.

Dear Mavis it hurt.

He collapsed on the ground and curled up into a tight ball, fingers digging into his own flesh as he tried to drown out the internal burning with external pain. Blood welled around his fingers and tears streamed from his eyes.

Why was this happening? Why had his body reacted like this?

He didn't understand.

Natsu's POV- Earlier

Natsu walked along the street with his hands behind his head, staring up at the partially cloudy sky. He was on his way to meet with Levy at the library.

He hadn't been able to look Lucy in the eye that morning. He was too confused, too conflicted about his feelings. He knew that he felt something for Lucy. The way his heart leapt when he'd seen her that morning told him that. That didn't happen with anyone else. There was something there, between the two of them. But he didn't quite understand it. Romeo and Levy said it was love. He didn't really know what love was. That was why he had agreed to meet with the solid script mage at the library, so he could learn.

Natsu didn't exactly like reading, but anything was better than this horrible feeling of uncertainty that haunted him. He had to find out why he was feeling this way. He had to understand what his heart was trying to tell him.

After he had run out of the guild he had wandered throughout the streets of Magnolia, not really going anywhere in particular. He just had to walk. Sitting still would lead to thinking. He didn't want to think before his meeting with Levy. He just wanted a few moments of peace before he opened the lid on the maelstrom of these alien emotions.

The walking was doing him a lot of good. He felt calmer, more in control. Observing all of Magnolia and all the different activities that went on throughout the city kept his mind away from what he knew he was going to have to think about later. He smiled, waved, greeted, and conversed with various citizens that he knew as he saw them. They were kind to him. Some noticed that he was not his normal boisterous self, and asked him what was wrong. Many asked if they could help. He just smiled and shook his head. He didn't want to bother these good people with his own personal drama.

The hours ticked by.

He found himself in the shopping district. He knew that Lucy was here somewhere. He hadn't meant to go anywhere near where she was today, but somehow his feet had tricked him and brought him close to her. He could pick up faint traces of her scent outside a few of the shops. He wasn't surprised to catch a whiff of it outside the bookstore and the shop where she bought her writing supplies. Nor was he surprised to smell it outside the shop where she got her food. He continued on down the streets, unconsciously following her scent. As he walked the scent began to get stronger, he was getting close to where she was now.