Understanding My Heart

Chapter 19

Natsu's POV

The fire dragonslayer had never been so nervous in his entire life. He stood in front of a mirror in one of the back rooms of the Fairy Tail guildhall. He had decided to come to the guild to ask for help getting ready from some of the other men. He had never really had much of a reason to get dressed up before so he didn't really know what to do. He wrinkled his nose at the smells of the cologne and hair gel he had been told to use. He didn't see the point of them really but the other's knew what they were doing.

"Well whaddaya know Salamander, you actually look half civilized," sneered Gajeel. He and some of the other men were going over Natsu one more time to make sure he was ready. He felt like this was something that girls were supposed to do, not guys, but they had insisted on making sure he was ready.

"Shut yer trap metal head," he snapped. He was on edge, it was only half an hour before he headed over to interrupt Lucy's date. He was feeling anxious too. It was eight o'clock... Lucy would be meeting Darius at the restaurant right now... He took a few deep breaths to keep himself calm. He couldn't go flying off in a rage.

"Cut the guy a break, he's got a big night tonight," said Gray, placing a hand on Natsu's shoulder. Gray in particular had been really helpful while Natsu was figuring out how to use the hair gel and putting on his tie.

"Thanks man... I really appreciate it," Natsu said quietly to Gray, not wanting the others to hear it. Gray grinned at him.

"No problem Natsu. I know how much Lucy means to you, and I want you two to be happy. Just promise you'll take care of her, she's been like a sister to me," he said. Natsu nodded.

"You know I will Gray. I love her..." he said.

"Here Natsu, give these to Lucy when you get there," said Alzac, handing him a bouquet of flowers. Natsu took them and gave them a skeptical look.

"Why am I giving her these?" he asked, the other men laughed. Elfman clapped him on the shoulder.

"A real man knows that ladies love flowers!" he said gruffly, giving the younger man a thumbs up. Natsu shrugged and didn't argue. Happy flew in through the open door.

"Wow Natsu you look fancy!" the little cat exclaimed, flying once around his best friend.

"Thanks Happy, I hope Lucy likes it..." said Natsu, beginning to feel even more nervous as he looked at the clock on the wall. 8:15, he should probably start heading over to the restaurant... "I should probably go," he said, looking around at the others.

"You've got this man, go get your girl," said Gray, slapping Natsu on the back.

"Go Natsu! Go snatch Lucy right outta that guy's arms!" exclaimed Happy excitedly.

"Just remember everything we taught you," said Freed, who had been leaning against the wall.

"Be a real man! Tell Lucy you love her!" yelled Elfman.

"I suppose I should wish you good luck Salamander," Gajeel said, also giving Natsu a slap on the back.

"Go get her Natsu," said Laxus, giving the younger man a grin.

"Thanks guys," said Natsu and headed out into the main hall. When he'd reached the middle of the hall, noise exploded all around him.

"GOOD LUCK NATSU!" shouted all the members of Fairy Tail. They were all laughing and cheering as he headed towards the door, his face in danger of catching on fire again. He paused at the very last table, where Master Makarov was sitting on the table, sipping his drink.

"Gramps...I... Thank you..." said Natsu, bowing low. Makarov chuckled and made shooing motions with his hands.

"You haven't got time to waste my boy, go get our Lucy back from that Blue Pegasus brat," he said. Natsu smiled and left the guild. With each step he took he found that his nervousness was fading away to be replaced by excitement. He knew that Igneel was with him, and that he'd get his mate.

Five minutes later, at exactly 8:30 he walked through the front doors of the restaurant that Lucy was having her date with Darius at. He could smell her scent faintly. He looked around at all the tables, searching for that beautiful blonde hair...

He couldn't see her.

He began to pace around, winding his way between the tables in case he had missed her. Still nothing. Natsu began to panic. He ran up to one of the waiters and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, have you seen a blonde girl and a guy with dark hair here?" he asked, dread filling his chest. The man thought before nodding.

"Yes I believe I saw them earlier, I'm afraid they left," he said and walked off.

Natsu's heart sank. They had already left... He... He had been too late.

Numbly he walked out of the front doors, dropping the flowers as he stepped outside. He began to run, not thinking of where he was going, just blindly running. Rain began to fall as he ran.

He suddenly realized he was back at the guildhall. He wrenched the doors open and stood in the doorway, drenched from the rain. Everyone looked at him in surprise.

"Natsu you're back already?" said Erza in surprise. "Lucy's with you right? Why don't you two come in you're getting soaked!"

"Lucy! We were all in on it! We helped Natsu to confess to you!" exclaimed Levy excitedly, running over to Natsu and looking over his shoulder for Lucy. She hesitated when she didn't see her blonde friend. "Natsu, where's Lucy?" she asked him. His head was hanging as he still stood in the doorway, holding the door open.

"Natsu, what's wrong?" said Gray, coming over as he sensed that something was amiss.

Suddenly Natsu screamed. He screamed a long, terrible scream of complete and utter anguish. He fell to his knees and slammed his fists into the ground, cracking the dense wood.

"I was too late!" he wailed, tears flooding from his eyes. "They had left by the time I got there! Lucy!" he screamed, flinging his head back and roaring in pain as his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

"What?" exclaimed Levy, crouching next to Natsu and trying to calm him down. "Natsu you've got to talk to us. What exactly happened?" Natsu sobbed harder than ever as he relived that terrible moment.

No. He had to get away from these memories. He sprang to his feet and ran out of the guild, heedless to the shouts of his guildmates behind him.

He ran. Out of Magnolia. Into the East Forrest. He crashed through the brush, not caring that he was getting bruised and cut by the trees and rocks. He stumbled, falling to the ground.

Natsu lay there, crying and screaming in pain and misery. Lucy... His Lucy... He had been too late... She had said she was giving up on him for good after her date... He would never have her now...

He got to his knees and roared at the sky, flames erupting around him and shooting from his mouth as the rage and anguish in his heart flooded out. He screamed his heartbreak to the sky over and over again.

Natsu screamed until he couldn't scream anymore. When his lungs gave out, he thrashed about, burning trees to cinders and pulverizing them to dust. His magic energy was boiling in his despair, lashing out of his body and scorching everything in sight.

After what seemed like an eternity he finally collapsed, too weak to move anymore. Tears continued to fall from his eyes and he lay in the pouring rain, his chest burning with a pain more intense than he had ever experienced.

He blacked out.