Perfectly Broken (Under Editing)

Chapter 2

Draco's POV

As I reached the bathroom, I felt the temporary walls that were put up in my head begin to crumble. The black began rushing back in, and, even as I ran into the nearest stall locking the door behind me, I felt the tears begin to fall. Hot droplets that stung my face like acid as I racked the air for oxygen. My chest convulsed as I felt the unbearable sting of burning whips upon my back as though it happened yesterday.

I was shaking, I was screaming, I was rocking back and fourth, gripping my legs to my chest, looking mad. And then I was back in the Manor -- or at least, my father was here.. But he wasn't! He couldn't be! You couldn't apparate into Hogwarts! Yet still, long, slender, cold fingers violently gripped my chin and forced my head to look up at Lucius Malfoy

Look at what you've become, the man hissed at me, so vulnerable, so weak, so pathetic! I whimpered at the truth of his words. I was pathetic.
You even agree with me, you bastard! I whimpered again and felt a hard fist connect with my cheek , knocking out a tooth and drawing blood. You have one use on this planet and one use onl: kill Potter, kill the boy. And if you die doing it, then good!! You must remember what harm he inflicted on you. The scars, they are his fault ! The cuts, they are his fault too! The endless nights under the cruciatus curse -- he did that! Him and his crippled old friend, that blood traitor Dumbledore ! Return the pain they gave you! They deserve it!

I hated myself for being weak, I hated myself for being a danger to innocent people, I hated myself for wanting to just give in to the black feeling. I hated myself for not resisting. I hated myself for not fighting. But most of all, I hated myself for beginning to believe what the man in front of me said about Potter.

Then. suddenly, the man disappeared -- not as it dissaperated, no, as in faded away right in front of my eyes as I realised it was all just a terrible, terrible vision that would keep me up for weeks. I was no longer rocking as though I was mad, I thought that I was mad. And it hurt like hell. Bruises began blooming on my knuckles and I realised that I had punched myself. I had fucking punched myself. It confirmed my thoughts on being mad. Or not just mad, a raving lunatic ! I had new scratches on my shoulder where I had clawed myself, and I spat blood from my mouth .

I shakily stood up, still sobbing, and unlocked the door of the stall I was in after checking I was the only one in the bathrooms. I walked over to the sinks and turned on the taps splashing my self with cold water and calming down my sobs. My eyes were red and puffy but I knew that they would calm down. I was more worried about the fact I could physically see myself shrinking under my robes: muscles deteriorating, body shrinking, hair becoming straw-like from lack of nutrients. I looked at the real me in the mirror and became angry. I hated myself for many things, but, up until a few weeks ago, my appearance was not one of them. Now, looking in the mirror, I saw a scrawny 15 year old that looked like a grumpy 10 year old, with dulled, lifeless eyes, sallow cheeks, and, under the black and green swamp of robes, pale skin littered with bright white scars as far as the eye could see.

To stop myself from breaking the mirror in front of me, I gripped the edges of the sink tightly, breathing deeply until I was calm. With a sigh, I picked up my satchel and searched in it for the two little vials of potion that I always took every four hours(once at 8 in the morning (now), once at midday, once at 4 in the afternoon, and once at 8 at night. I quickly downed the two bottles, giving a little shudder, watching myself morph back into the strong, powerful Malfoy that everyone knew and feared.

I wiped my eyes furiously and replaced the mask on my face, pulling a sneer onto my lips. I forced my eyes to turn cold and indifferent. I brushed my hair back into place. Finally. with a sigh of regret, I left the bathroom to head to my second lesson which, thank god, was a Potter free one.

[A/N] grammar edited by vangohs