Forbidden

Chapter 20 - The End of an Era

-- I honestly feel like this song is Karai's POV following this chapter and it just fits so well, so enjoy :) <3 --

So much had changed for me since Shredder's death. I couldn't look at Karai the same way ever again. I wasn't even sure if I still loved her. She wasn't the same girl I once knew. Villain or not a villain, she still killed the Shredder; and as a faithful ninja to the Hamato clan, I always follow the number one rule: Hamato's never kill. After witnessing Karai send him to his death, there was a bitter taste in my mouth that was sure to not go away.

"I can't do this anymore."

As the cold wind blows across the rooftops of New York, I can feel the frost striking me. A stab of guilt pounds my chest as the look on Karai's face makes my knees buckle. A look of sadness, horror, surprise, anger and hurt all mixed in one. It's definitely not making this any easier.

Since the fall of the Shredder, I've come to realise some things. Despite how much I don't want to admit it, I can't keep whatever this is still going with Karai. It's becoming too risky, too dangerous.

Whenever I'm around Karai, there's danger. Granted, I am a ninja and danger is part of the job, but around Karai it's different. It's a definite danger. There's always going to be that one person who's roped over the coals, and quite frankly... I can't stand to let that keep happening. Even if Shredder really is dead, there will still be that threat. If not from him, then someone else - possibly worse than Shredder - who is willing to step up and take his place as supreme overlord of the vicious crime underbelly of New York.

But only one thing stands in the way of me ending things with Karai.

I love her.

At least, I think I still do?

Karai's bottom lip quivers as I see the colour being drained from her face. "I-I don't understand..." She mutters quietly. "Leo, I love you."

I take a deep breath in, fighting back tears. "I love you too, Karai." I look away to stop myself from crying. "But this can't go on."

She takes a step forward, her eyes welling up with tears. "Why?" When I don't answer, she grabs me firmly by the arms. "Answer me, Leo!"

I sigh deeply, letting a rogue tear roll down my cheek. "Haven't you noticed already? We're a danger to each other!" My voice is shaky. "You've already faked your own death once just to keep me safe, what happens if you're actually killed because of me?"

She's taken aback. "Shredder is dead, Leo. There's nothing that can stop us now--"

"What happens when someone else comes and takes his place?" I snap, cutting her off. I look deep into her mysterious gold eyes, and I suddenly get a whiff of that delectable scent of hers. It calms me down. "I just..." I lower my voice as I turn around and walk to the edge of the building, facing the New York Skyline. "I just don't want anyone to be hurt."

"Well, dodged a bullet there!" Karai shouts sarcastically, outstretching her arms with tears streaming down her face. I give her a sheepish look, and she wipes away a tear with the back of her hand, sniffling. "Is this the sort of thing you people do for fun? You hang around with people, tell them you love them and then you destroy them?"

Now the guilt is really starting to take over. I take a step towards her. "Karai..."

"Don't come near me! Don't touch me!" She replies, pointing a stern finger at me. Rivers of tears are now racing down her face as she trembles with heartbreak. "I have spent my entire life being mistreated, used and hurt." Her voice is shaky. "And for the first time, I thought that I had found someone who I could actually be myself around and know that I was safe." Another tear falls down her cheek. "I have had people walk into my life, and I have had people walk out of it; but I never thought one of them would be you." She takes a deep breath in. "The one thing that I thought could never, ever hurt me, did." She takes a step towards me. "That was you, Leonardo." She looks me up and down. "You slimy, filthy, heart-breaking... reptile!"

I sniffle as another tear rolls down my cheek. "Call me what you want, Karai," I say. "I am always going to love and care about you." I cup her face with my hands as she starts to sob quietly. "Nothing and no one can change that."

She looks me in the eyes, and I can see how truly shattered she is. "Then why are you leaving me?" She whispers.

The pain is slowly seeping through my skin, poisoning my insides and making my blood run cold. Knowing that I'm ending one of the greatest things to ever happen to me, is killing me. But this is the way it has to be.

I hold her closely, hearing her quietly sob into my chest. I don't ever want to let her go, even though I know I don't have a choice. She was my everything. She was the reason why I woke up every morning, why I was always twice as sharp on patrols, why I always smiled at the thought of seeing her face again.

As I loosen my grip, she takes a step back, wiping away another tear. For a few moments we simply stare blankly at each other, an awkward silence being the only thing between her and I.

"I'll always love and care about you. You know that." I say softly. "And there's never not going to be a day that I won't think about you."

She chuckles quietly. The sort of a laugh that you can tell is sarcastic, especially when they're upset. "You say all these things, but you don't really mean it." She says, her eyes becoming glassy again. "If you really did love me, you wouldn't be standing here telling me that we can't be together."

The moment the words spill from her mouth, I feel a dagger in my chest. The all too familiar feeling of letting go, even though you don't want to.

"It's how it has to be." I whimper quietly.

"No, it's not." She replies just as softly, shaking her head.

I look down at the ground for a second, before looking back at Karai for the last time. "Yes, it is."

Without a second thought, I take a step back and jump across to the next rooftop, sewer-bound. Behind me, I could almost feel Karai watching me as I left behind one of the most epic chapters of my life.

We may have had some of the best of times, but like all good things, they must come to an end. I don't know when I'll see her next, maybe out on a patrol, or just down the street; but one thing is for sure: I'll never forget her.

It was then I finally realised the answer to the one question I had been asking myself this entire time. "How do you hide something so forbidden?"

You don't. You set it free, and if it truly was yours it will come back to you when the time is right.

Like my love with Karai, forbiddances come with a sense of heat and danger, and mystery. In saying that, they also come with severe consequences. I'll always hold my moments with Karai dear and special to me, right up until the day I die. I'll never forget her, or the adventures we shared together, and I only hope that one day she finds someone else to share those adventures with.

In short, it's the end of an era.

But not really.