December 22 2020
I knew that my mum had died in a car accident but I didn't know Finn was responsible.
He wasn't though was he. Responsible. He was simply a bystander, it took me a while to process the information but it wasn't his fault. He was simply inside the car. He wasn't behind the wheel. He was a passenger. Even the person behind the wheel- Peter wasn't responsible.
It wasn't anyone's fault.
I traced the outline of his letters, feeling the dip in the paper where his own had dig in too deep, sighing at the dreaded secret which had kept us apart.
Maybe I'd he'd told me, we wouldn't be in this mess. We'd have no secrets. Nothing that someone like Jordan could use against us.
Maybe he wouldn't have killed himself if he'd known that I don't care. That I only want to be with him. Maybe if he knew that he wasn't to blame. Not even Peter was to blame, who was driving the car.
You can't change the past, you just have to learn to accept it, as it is. You have to learn that what happened, happened. You learn from mistakes, that's why they're mistakes.
I found out the secret. Why would Jordan still terrorise him, if he sent a letter to me explaining what happened?- B
I sent the message to Jacob, wondering curiously. Twiddling my brown locks of hair around my fingers, I tried to solve the unsolveable puzzle. Right, I moved my phone off of the letter, carefully re-reading it to keep it embedded into my memory. I knew that Jordan was the cause of us breaking up all those years ago. I knew Finn's secret. I knew that Jordan had something to do with Finn's suicide. But what? The question pondered my thoughts, I dug deep inside my head to try and find the answers. To try to place the pieces together. Suddenly, I let out a gasp as my phone buzzed and lit up. I stared down at Jacobs message, maybe this was the key to my answers, I thought desperately.
You never got the letters though, did you.- J
The thought explored my mind. I tried to
recollect the letters that Finn had sent, letting out a shriek at what I had found. He was right! I never received the letters. Jordan must have kept them. Stolen them before they were sent. The only obstacle in the way was the fact that Liam had them stored in the cardboard boxes I had found earlier.
I exhaled a deep breath, letting go of all of the pain that made my heart throb. I had reached the conclusion, I must have anyway. Relief swept over me like a tsunami. There was only one conclusion. It had to be right. All trails lead to this.
"Liam" was Jordan. Jordan pretended to be Liam to get to me. But why? What happened to Liam? Did Jordan kidnap him? Held him hostage? I wonder for how long. My heart thumped thinking of innocent Liam being caught up in all this. But how did he pretend to be Liam? How did he manage to pull it off? I mean I'd only met Liam a couple of times at university. They'd looked so similar. Almost identical. The questions drummed inside my head, making my stomach throb and me realise that I hadn't eaten anything for what seemed like days. But eating wasn't my main focus right now. The answers were.
There was one way I was going to get the answers I needed.
I needed to speak to Jordan.
I needed to not speak to him on the phone or write him a letter. I needed to see him. Face-to-face. That was how I was going to get my answers.
The answers I deserve.
❉ ❥❃ ❂❁❀❉ ❥❃ ❂❁❀❉ ❥❃ ❂❁❀❉
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Thank you,
Louise💋
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