Unpredictable ▷ Jerrie

The Feeling

Jade

I walk into Perrie's room hand in hand as we fall onto the bed and took a breather.

" Gosh I'm tired." I laugh.

" Ugh same." Perrie answered as she stuffed a pillow on top of her face.

I felt sleep rush through the course of my veins as I stretch my arms and it collides against something cold and plastic.

" So what are we gonna do?" I ask as I spot the product which was a plastic folder with ' Sheet Music' written across it.

" I don't know."

I sit up straight and push my hair back, and grab the folder beside me. " Pez," I say as I nudge her with my elbow.

" Yeah?" she answered as she removed the pillow away from her face, and looked at me.

" Can I?"

She nodded and placed the pillow on top once again. " I might fall asleep so yeah."

My fingers touch the first sleeve of plastic to reveal her first song through many. It was called. " I Won't'  which was quite catchy as I skimmed through.

Yet it was also inspiring and seemed to be a song with beats and stuff.

The songs that followed were Beautiful Excuses, The Beginning, Jet Black Heart, Secret Love Song, Unpredictable and Right Now.

I felt a smile form on my lips as I read each and every line that filled the page.

All her songs held so much meaning, emotion and perfection.

But  I felt a hard feeling pound on my chest when I read the rest of Right Now. The complete version of what she had sung earlier today.

Reading it I knew it wasn't supposed to have meaning towards her since she's single. And I should be feeling anything towards this song. But something about each line made me feel something.
A connection deeper than best friends. I don't know why.

As I read it over and over my mind came up with various memories that seemed to fit in.

"And we won't be going home for so long, for so long.
But I know, I won't be on my own, on my own.'

Memories from our time as 18 year olds come flashing back in an instant.

Not to long ago during the end of our senior year we'd constantly stay in the forest away from our homes thinking about our day and how far we've become as high schoolers.

The amount of time we dedicated towards our studying meant we had to go out for an escape. And so we did. Every Friday after the bell rang we raced into her car and drove away.

By the time we got home it would usually be midnight.

But I wouldn't have changed a thing.

I then skipped a few lines and read one in particular.

'Lights go down and I hear you calling to me, yeah.'

I suddenly remembered a horrid memory that I'd managed to forget. But it flooded back in.

It was during our trip to the beach. I remeber how the whole thing went down and the amount of worry Perrie had for me.

She had strictly told me not to muck around on the rocks just like the lifeguards warned everyone else.

But I didn't listen. I felt like a smart ass and decided to dance along to the music that played in the distance.

I felt stupid right after.

Once the beat drop of the track came I became unbalanced, and to what I remember vividly I had slipped.

I fell down from a distance I couldn't quite remember. But as my body entered the cold salty water I heard her call for my name.

As I was trying to swim back up a large amount of seaweed had tied itself to my ankle.

I tried tugging it off but it was no use.
Through blue water I could see her blurry figure. Every few seconds she was shouting my name as the sun dissappeard and she longed for the awaited life saver.

Until I was out I never felt more of  a fuck up then any day of my life until I saw Perrie's blue eyes.

They weren't the same as they usually would. Instead they were bloodshot and continally had tears streaming down her face.

It took me moments till I was able to regain my breath and speak.
I apologised to her every single day even though she had already forgiven me. But I knew it wasn't enough for not listening to her simple instruction.

And as I felt her hands touch my shoulder I immedietly removed my mind from that tragic memory to the girl beside me.

I looked at her sadly as she noticed the song I'd been reading.

" Jade I -  Are you ok?" she asked worridly.

I nod my head frantically as I wrapped my arms around her neck. " I'm fine." I lied and put my head between the crook of her neck.

" It's about me isn't it?" I say as my tears soak her creaseless outfit.

" Yeah." she answered as she rubbed my back and placed a soft friendly kiss on my hair.

" You're my best friend Jade. You mean the world to me. What would I do without you?," she giggled. " I guess I was missing you too much in Japan that the song ended up being too emotional. I mean I've never been seperated with you for that long. We do everything together. Just like if we were -"

I cut her short and removed myself from her warm embrace.

" Like we were a couple." I say.

She giggled. " I would've said sisters but I'll go with that. I -"

I stopped her short. This time I had my lips crash onto hers.  I never would've thought of doing this at all. But the way i was feeling toward her now was different.

It wasn't the sisterly slash best friend type of feeling. I felt closer to her than ever.

And as her lips seemed to respond to mine I decided to leave it there.

I pulled away and looked into her eyes. " I'm sorry Pez. That was wrong. Why did I fucking do that!" I scream. "You're not gay. I'm not gay either. I'm so confused right now."I cry.

" Jade, no. Don't cry. No don't apologise. Just calm down." she told me.

" How can I calm down Perrie?," I gulp. " I just kissed you..."

" So what?" Perrie answered. All she did was tugg on my shirt and pull me toward her till our lips met for the second time.