BABY BLUE |BTS| KIM SEOKJIN| 1

11- Grudge

I stood up from the ground, and faced the direction where I heard his voice.

"What's going on?" Jin said, as he was confused.

"Sumin... I'm so sorry." Jin's brother says again, but this time, with more meaning, but I was too shocked to notice that he had apologized to me.

FLASHBACK TO LAST SUMMER

"I'm sorry for you loss."

They would say as they touched my hands, and move on to my parents as we sat on the side of the room, holding Naeun's funeral in one of the hospital's building.

It was three days after the car accident, and my body recovered with only a few minor injuries, while my eyes were still left bandaged, and I had to wear it for another two days.

It was my first experience encountering people without seeing them, and it was hard to endure, since I so badly wanted to see Naeun's face before she was buried, but I couldn't.

During the funeral, I only had to listen to people's voices, and to try to remember who they were.

I could identify some of my relatives, but for friends it was hard to tell, and they made it easier and told me their names before showing their sorrow for our loss.

But I was waiting for one specific voice to show up at Naeun's funeral... but they never came.

I remembered getting angry at myself for not able to go around to ask where he was... but it hit me when I didn't even know him well enough to know his name. I just knew who he was from Naeun.

So I tried my best to remember his voice, for Naeun's sake.

And I did.

END OF FLASHBACK

My hands formed into fists, as mixed emotions erupted in my head, but I was frozen stiff.

How could he be Jin's older brother all along...

"Sumin... I'm really sorry..." He said again, and when he did... I finally spoke up.

"Are you really?" I say, the coldness clear in my tone. "Are you really sorry?"

"I really am sorry! Please forgive me-"

"Would Naeun forgive you?" I say, and that hushed him. My bottom lip began to quiver as I felt the tears start to form, yet I grew angrier at the fact that he didn't answer me.

"You're Naeun's boyfriend! Why weren't you there at her funeral?!" I yelled, and I felt the anger and pain grew stronger with every word I spoke outloud. "You could've came to her ceremony to pay your respect, or if you couldn't make it, you could've even called! But you did neither!"

"... Where were you that day? Huh?" I say, and the tears poured down my face. "Why didn't you come?"

"Hyung... is this something you've been hiding from me?" I heard Jin say.

"Did you even love her?!" I yelled at Jin's brother.

"I did! I loved Naeun so much, that I wanted to die after what I've heard what happened to her!"

The breath hitched in my throat, as I realized those words were the same as what I thought of before.

"I didn't come to the funeral... only because I was too shocked, and too emotional to even bare though it. It was only after one day we made up after a month's long fight that we had, and then all of a sudden, she disappeared from the face of earth."

"I was her sister, and I was in the car accident with her, I had became blind... and yet still I came." I say, and turned my head. "If you really loved her, then you would've showed up."

"If I could just turn back time, I would've came! It's been haunting me ever since last summer, please Sumin. Please forgive me!"

"If you want forgiveness, you could ask for Naeun's."

I say, and turned my back on him, and started to walk away.

The pain in my heart was excruciating, and it was unbearable for me to handle another word with him. I was beyond angry at him, and I started to feel dizzy as my knees started to grow weak.

"Sumin!"

I heard Jin's voice echo, and I felt myself fall, but I was too numb to feel the impact.

I was too numb to know what was going to happen to me as I felt Jin's hands shaking me up.

And I didn't care.

My heart was just ripped in half, and I wanted to be alone, to be by myself.

I wanted to be in the time when I never felt these emotions before, the time when we were young, and my sister and I would chase each other around the park, and my mom would watch us, wearing a beautiful smile that I knew I would never see again, or Naeun's.

And with that last thought, I closed my eyes.