addicted ↭ kth ; jjg

: VIII :

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Jeongguk decided to head out his room and walk around. He does not wear his shoes, loving the feeling of the cold cement on his bare feet. From time to time he would sing his favorite song, reminding him of his mum. If only he has someone to go back to. Jeongguk misses the past. Jeongguk wants to go back to the past. Maybe he does, too. If one would be reversing a time machine, would they be meeting again in the future?

His head hung low, hands inside his jacket pocket. The uncomfortable coldness already getting through him, sending shivers in his entire body.

He passed a corner and at the same time someone had turned. But the guy did not glance at him nor looked back. And he felt his heart throb. He wants to call him, but is afraid of being ignored although what the other just did was the total sample of it. And there he breaks, his heart shattering, his breath hitching, and soon he curled down into a ball. For him, it was even painful than any physical pain he felt before. And again, this is his first time.

He silently sobs on the dark hallway and on the cold floor. Eyes squeezed shut and fists clenched, but then he told himself he was being pathetic over such a little thing so he stood up, gaining his balance. But before he can head off straight, someone had took him by the waist and carried him, the familiar arms on his back and legs.

He looks at him. The vampire half smiles. It wasn't very genuine. At the sudden gesture again he cries.

"Why are you crying, Jeongguk?"

"What are you doing?"

"Why are you here?"

"Put me down."

"Where are you headed to?"

"Where are you taking me?"

"Why are you barefooted?"

Jeongguk decided to shut his mouth for no question of his is being answered, or their talk would be pointless.

And soon they reached their destination.

"Hyung—"

"It's nighttime. Let's go to sleep."

"You don't even sleep at night."

"It's not like I may not."

"I'm heading to my own room."

"No, sleep with me. Just this once."

-

"NO NO NO!!"

It is in the same night and Jeongguk is raging in fear and anger. Fear because the older want him be left alone at a place far away from them. And anger because the older did not even think twice about the decision made.

Although feeling somehow weak, he continues hitting the other's chest. Him wrapped around in a tight embrace, hearing silent cries and pleadings from the other and the whispers of soft 'I love yous' and 'I'm sorrys' on his neck. Jeongguk isn't listening though, all he wants is for him to take all what he said back. He wants V to say that he'll let him stay, that they'll be together, and that no one is going to let go.

In the past few weeks did he notice something strange about the older—not really strange, but he's getting some kind of feeling that it is indeed strange, for V goes around asking if he can cook by himself, buying him everything he did not even asked for, asking him to eat and stay healthy, telling him an "I love you very much and you know that" almost every hour.

And in the past few days he felt ignored.

And now the truth is revealed as to what is concerning the older, and Jeongguk regrets ever asking what was wrong, thinking that maybe if he had not asked then he would not have told him anytime soon. He loves him so much, but the feeling of being let go of isn't really what he had expected that he likely believes he is unwanted.

"Please, I love you," all his I love yous isn't really helping, for Jeongguk does not want to believe him.

"It's hard for me too. I'm doing this for you. I want you safe. Jeongguk, please listen to me." Voice broken and tears falling hard, V does not mind. His shaking hands reach over to the boy's face, cupping both cheeks gently.

"Look at me," his voice all soft Jeongguk wishes to hear it forever. He looks at him, eyes red and tired from crying, but the hint of anger inside it is not masked at all. Jeongguk wants to be loved, and by that he means him being took care of by the boy his heart chose to love.

"I love you," V was expecting the younger to say it back but it went unheard, because nothing was ever said back. "Jeon," he carefully places his forehead on the younger's sweaty one and kisses him with all passion, but it was not given back. Their eyes served them waterfalls.

No one has talked for minutes and the silence sure is deafening. Other than that, only their muffled cries are heard inside their own little world. And in their own little world did they hold onto each other as if their lives are on a cliff like: Here we are, we had reached the end. We only have each other so let's hold on. It was like a little drama, but not all dramas have a happy ending, right? For one of them decided to slowly let go, unwrapping his own warmth, leaving the other behind. Until that other one lets go too, not slowly, but rather lightspeed. It was so heartbreaking, as if the shards made are tearing and scarring you even more.

V was left alone inside that little world wherein in a blink of an eye his only light is gone.

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hey just wanna say hey.

my fluffy fluffy ppl thank you for bearing with my slow updates.