addicted ↭ kth ; jjg

: XXVIII :

ppl has started messaging me saying how much they like this book, and that means so much, so to all of you who are reading this i dont know how to actually thank you all. but thank you, really, omf hahaha.

i kinda feel apologetic coz it takes me too much time to update, plus i think that this book is messy.

but overall, im happy.

thank you, lovelies.

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"I want you to leave."

Jeongguk felt as if a thunder has struck his chest. It hurts so much. All so sudden he wants to pour out his anger and shout, but he felt the urge to act cool.

"Can you believe I can actually hear your lie?"

Jeongguk wants him to emit his true words. He wants V to tell him opposite of those agonizing words he was told of.

"Why are you asking me to leave?"

He was talking out, and then he was pursing his lips, as if he'll regret hearing the answer. He's not attempting to read the boy's mind, he'd rather hear it from him.

"I was jealous of you, Jeongguk. I was completely jealous. But I was also angry, 'cause you almost forgot I was with you. 'Cause without me you wouldn't actually meet her again, right? But it's like as you knew her, both of you are together running away from me.

"I knew all along I shouldn't be angry, 'cause who am I to interfere anyway? It was family business. And it's me again this time. It's me against my own world.

"I'm too selfish.

"And I wish I hadn't known her, I wish I hadn't known you. After all, I can stand on my own. From now on."

Jeongguk finally understands. The vampire was too scarred. He knows there's more into the other's jealousy, and he wants to dig deeper. It wasn't all about the both of them and the Queen.

"What else? Before I leave, I want you to tell me everything."

Jeongguk has deciphered what it is, but he wants to get it right out from the boy.

So V told him, "I've always hated myself for being what I am. Seeing you breaks me so much." He then gazes away from the younger. Up to this day he wasn't able to accept reality. As if he'd rather see things fake.

There's a quake in the vampire's voice. It's too loud, too scary. Of course Jeongguk knew that. The oceans are awakening and waves are starting to form, that's what he sees. And now those are starting to collide and Jeongguk knew he has to kiss them better, wipe them farther away from collision.

If only the boy let him.

Jeongguk feels so down, like he's drowning on a cold water. He couldn't breathe, and his wings wouldn't let him get away. He couldn't fly away from feeling rejected upon trying to kiss his man.

He was rejected.

"Do you just think of what you want?" Jeongguk starts. "When you were with me, do you just think of ways on how to live the way you want?" At this point, bubbles are already filling his lungs and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak right. "I'm sorry to you, 'cause I can't turn you into a human. And I'm sorry for not realizing sooner, that even though how much I felt your anger for her I wasn't able to hint the hole you've been trying to cover up."

Tears started pouring down from Jeongguk's face. Aside from their voices, it's all too silent that they could almost hear their breathings.

"And I'm sorry... again, 'cause I didn't know seeing me before your eyes actually makes you envious. That even though I've already joined you, you still travel back the past."

V just watched him apologize. He was smiling bitterly, 'cause he didn't know what to say. It was all true, but it seems as if Jeongguk is starting to forget that he did love him sincerely, not only because he was the figure of what he dreamed of.

And it was a heartbreaking memory again. Watching Jeongguk cry before him.

"Is this really you? Do you really want me to leave?" Jeongguk questioned.

It was an easy one, but in the older's mind are like words of different languages he can't translate into an answer.

But he was able to force the word out. "Yes."

Jeongguk smiles, not bitterly, not sadly.

"It is you." Jeongguk pauses. "But isn't the decision on me? I don't want to leave, and I ain't letting you force me again.

"Though it isn't the right time, and I don't know when is, I want you to know that...

"I remember now."

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i can end it here actually

the end