Come Back to Me

Chapter 13

"I think I hurt Paul." I say to Andrew as we sit to eat our lunch. Paul was at work so it was just us two. It had been a week since my first therapy session and I couldn't stop thinking about the look on Paul's face when I asked if we could stray away from the relationship topic. 

"So?"

"Andrew!" I exclaim.

"I don't mean it like that. I just mean..." He hesitates "Wow how do I say this without sounding like a complete jerk? You're hurting him every time he looks at you. You can't really help it. Paul is a big boy he can handle it."

"Well... what if one day he just gives up?"

"He won't. What did you do anyways?"

"During therapy I asked if we could stay away from anything that has to do with our relationship."

"Oh..."

"See! I know it was bad. But it's honestly the scariest part of it all. There's so much going on and the fact that I fell in love with somebody enough to want to marry them... it's too much. I know I'm twenty-two but I still feel like I'm eighteen. Straight out of high school. That's what my mind remembers."

"And have you told him that?"

"no..."

"Why not?" I hesitate to give him the answer I know is true. "Ashley? Why haven't you told him?"

"Because I trust you more than him." I say as I feel tears start to fall down my face.

"I see." Andrew smiles reassuringly. "Please don't feel afraid to tell me anything ever." He responds as he wipes away a tear with the pad of his thumb. I smile at his affection but quickly sober up and pull away.

"My medicine. I forgot to take it." I announce and hastily stand up from the table. Why is it that I seem to be getting closer to Andrew than I am to Paul? Maybe it's because Paul or more like the idea of Paul scares you. My inner conscious suggests and I know its true. I swallow my medicine then sit down again to finish my lunch. "Any plans for today?" I ask Andrew.

"Nope. Just spending the whole day with you."

"I'm sure you have a life you should get back to. I feel bad."

"don't." He assures me with a shake of his head.

"You really don't have to do this."

"I know. This might be hard for you to believe but I actually enjoy your company. I'm not just doing all of this because I feel bad for you. But I mean that is part of it." He teases.

"I still feel bad. It's like you have to babysit me." I reply ignoring his teasing.

"Nah, baby sitters actually get paid." I roll my eyes and he chuckles. "Don't feel bad Ashley. I like you... spending time with you."

"Thanks Andrew."

"Now that we have that cleared. What are our plans for the day?" I shrug. He thinks for a second. "we can watch a whole bunch of movies that came out in the span of time that you don't remember." He says, excitement laced in his voice.

I laugh, "Sure. Sounds fun."

I get comfortable on the couch while Andrew looks for what he says is one of his favorite movies. "found it!" he exclaims. "Guardians of the Galaxy."

After he puts the movie on he comes to sit on the couch. Closer than I was expecting but for some reason I don't feel uncomfortable. Why can't I feel like this with Paul?