Come Back to Me

Chapter 16

Eleanor was leaving today, it was also the day that I decided I was done crying. I'm fed up with the tears. Actually I'm fed up with everything. It's been a month since my accident and I haven't remembered anything. On top of that overtime it seems like Paul and I are making progress something always seems to go terribly wrong. Paul and Andrew were both able to come with us to see Eleanor off. Eleanor was crying at our goodbyes and although I know i'm going to miss her I can't seem to make myself feel sad.

Right before Eleanor has to leave she takes me to the side by ourselves. "I know it's hard. But don't shut us out Ash. It will only make things worse."

I nod but don't say anything in response. El sighs and hugs me before walking away with a wave back to all of us.

In the car going back home Andrew tries to talk to me, "Are you okay Ashley?"

"Mhmm."

"Are you going to miss Eleanor?"

"i think so." I know my voice sounds monotone but I can't help it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Paul asks this time.

"Mhmm. " I see them give each other a look but I ignore it and look out the window; falling into my own little world.

I only last another week with Paul and Andrew before I can't take it anymore. I'm numb to everything and the boys tries to get me to communicate only annoy me. Paul gave up and would only say minimal greetings to me but Andrew persevered and occasionally got me to laugh. I went to therapy with Paul but it was the worst session we ever had. I tried to talk to Judy about what I was feeling but it was like my body wouldn't let me. Truly I don't even know what I'm feeling. I'm shutting every body out just like Eleanor told me not to but I can't help it. My breaking point was when Paul told me he loved me. I'd heard other people say it and I'd even heard him say it to other people but when he said it to me... directly to me. I just broke. I couldn't even cry anymore.

My phone dings and it's a text from my mom reminding me about her offer to come to Texas. Its been almost a month and a half since my accident and i've made minimal progress. I think it's time to go home to my Mom. I want to make this as easy on Paul as possible because I don't want to hurt him anymore so i decide that I need to push my bad attitude away for his and Andrew's sake. I text my mom back telling her my decision and buy tickets for tomorrow afternoon. Which will give me plenty of time to tell both boys. Andrew was gone for work already so I would tell him in the morning but Paul was here and this was as good as a time as any to get it over with.

"Hey Paul." I say with a small smile while leaning on the doorway of the room he's in.

He looks surprised as he replies to me, "Hi Ashley. What's up?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Of course." I look around the room and realize that this is where he had been sleeping all month. It looks like a office room but there is an air mattress in the corner that he's sitting on.

I go and sit on the chair at the desk. "You sleep in here?"

"yeah."

"Where does Andrew sleep."

"Uh... sometimes in here with me but mostly on the couch."

"Oh. I didn't know that." They did this for me? Just so I could have a bed. I honestly had thought that this room was an extra bedroom not an office. "Um... anyways. My Mom wants me to go to Texas to meet Edward."

"Yeah? I think that's a great idea. If you want to of course."

"I actually decided... I'm going to go live with her."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I mean its been longer than a month and I'm not getting any of my memories back."

"What about the one from when we first met?"

"I only remember that because you told me the story. It's like when you're parents tell you a story from when you're little and you think you remember it but really its just your mind filling in blanks for you."

"I don't think so."

"Well I know so."

Paul looks down looking defeated. "Nothing I say is going to be able to change your mind is it?"

"I don't think so."

"Well I already told you I loved you so what more can I do."

I wince at his words, "Nothing. Nothing is working. I'm not getting my memory back. This isn't working."

He looks hurt but is able to hold eye contact with me, "I don't want you to leave. But if you think that's best..." He pauses and swallows hard, "Then I respect you're decision."

"Thank you." I say as I stand up. "Paul... last thing."

"Yes?"

"What's your true favorite candy?"

He smiles, "It's sour skittles." 

I smile back, "Okay. I'll be in my... the other room, packing." He only nods in response. Why can't he understand that this is only because I don't want to hurt him anymore. Me not remembering him kills him... I can see it. If I'm not there he can finally move on with his life, my amnesia won't be there ruining him. I won't be there reminding him of the past love that he lost. This is all for his own good. 

Authors Note: 

The story is almost over, there will probably only be one more chapter. I already know how I want to end it so I'll probably update the ending either today or tomorrow. Thanks so much for reading :)