Clouded (Jc Caylen fanfiction)

Chapter 9

( Fey's P.O.V )

I wasn't surprised I guess you could say, I was more disappointed. I sat in my room for the last couple days confused and lost, I didn't quite understand why this was bothering me so much considering I saw something like this coming.

I don't know what I was thinking, how could someone like Jc be interested in someone like me. I knew it was too good to be true.

I felt so alone and empty inside it made me feel sick to my stomach. It was as if somehow Jc cove have filled the gap my dad left in my heart when he left.

I guess you could say I was insecure, but like you haven't heard that before. I looked in the mirror every morning and hated what looked back at me in it, I felt as if I was alone on how I thought and felt about myself and the way my life was going. It just felt like everyday of my life I was standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and not one single person turned their head to notice my suffering and frustration.

I wiped my tearful eyes trying to overcome all these thoughts that I didn't even know I kept bottled deep down till now. But I couldn't, I couldn't stand another day feeling like this. I hated myself so much, I hated Jc so much for making me feel this way.

If only someone could just listen to me and notice how frustrated and upset I was. I just wish someone would notice without the words having to escape my lips for them to understand how I'm feeling.

My phone buzzed on my bed side table but I didn't bother to answer, it was probably Perris again. She had been trying to call me all last night but I just couldn't face talking to her and explaining to her what was going on.

As my phone made a loud buzz on my wood bedside table I put my pillow over my face, trying to block out the sound. When it stopped it suddenly started again enough to the point to make me sit up and grab my phone pressing the answer button.

" Perris, I'm not in the mood to talk " I said with a shaken breath.

" whose Perris? Fey what's wrong? " a male voice answered.

My teary eyes widened as the tears began to come, " Shane...?" I muttered into the phone as I began to cry more.

" Yeah... " Shane answered obviously concerned.

I wiped a tear falling down my cheek as I tried to hold back the tears letting out shaken gasps and whimpers instead.

" Fey what's wrong " he asked again from my loss of words.

" I-I'm just so confused and lost Shane....I don't know what to do...."  I struggled breathing out without letting out loud gasps.

He probably didn't want to hear about it, I just met him a couple days ago so why would it matter if I was upset, I was practically a stranger to him.

" Where are you right now? want to meet and talk about it " he replied.

" M-Mhm..." I breathed out shaken.

I don't know what made me agree to this so suddenly, I usually wasn't this open about my feelings to anyone because no one noticed. But somehow Shane was different, he was the one person that noticed and turned around to stop me from my screaming. He was the one person that noticed my pain.

( Shane's P.O.V )

" Perris,I'm not in the mood to talk " Fey answered the phone with a shaken breath.

To be honest I was confused at why she picked up the phone thinking it was Perris who must be one of her friends.

" Whose Perris, Fey what's wrong? " I asked concerned.

She sounded as if she was crying which concerned me, I hated it when people cried that's why I always try to make others around me smile. I know it sounds cliché and all but it's the truth.

" Shane..? " she gasped out as I heard her try to hold in tears through the phone.

" Yeah.." I answered her.

I didn't like hearing her crying or upset, to be honest I didn't like seeing anyone I knew that way. It was as if being all depressed and upset suddenly made that person completely different. I thought of Fey as a shy and funny girl but from her gasps of air from crying she didn't at all sound the same or even feel like the same person I talked to for an hour in Taco Bell with.

" Fey what's wrong " I asked again it was eating me alive and I don't know why.

" I-I'm just so confused and lost Shane....I don't know what to do...." she breathed out trying to hold in the gasps.

I really hated picturing her this way, it made me feel as if I was obligated to do something, to comfort her.

" Where are you now?, want to meet and talk about it? " I asked.

" M-Mhm.." she gasped out one last time as I felt the tears as if I were crying myself.

" Alright where do you wanna meet? " I asked.

" M-My house? " she gasped out.

" Alright tell me where it is and I'll be there in a few " I replied making my way out the door with the phone still pressed to my ear and getting into my car parked in the driveway.