Clouded (Jc Caylen fanfiction)

Chapter 21

( Jc's P.O.V )

I sat in the passenger seat of my dads car as he drove down the main road lit only by street lights. I stared out the passenger window as we drove in silence.

" So what's this all about.." I managed to let out as I looked over at him.

My dad stared at the road intently as he let out a deep sigh. What was he keeping from me?. I knew something was up with him, he never acted this way unless he didn't want to tell me something.

" Why'd you do it..." he finally muttered glancing at me with sadness in his eyes as he glanced back at the road ahead of us.

" do what? ".

He sighed deeply as if he were trying to keep his composure as he pulled over, parking the car and glanced down at my bandaged hand and into my eyes again.

" Why...Why did you hurt yourself.." he managed to let out as his hands slid off the wheel and into his lap balling them into fists.

I stared at him with wide eyes, " dad.... ", I honestly didn't know what to say I've never seen him this worried about me.

" Just tell me...please" he muttered out.

I sighed, "I don't know....".

"what made you do this to yourself Justin..." he muttered.

"N-nothing..." I stuttered he wouldn't understand my feelings for this girl he just wouldn't. "But I wasn't trying to hurt myself" I stated. "

Then what were you trying to do then! look at you're hand for god sakes! " he raised his voice.

I looked down at my hand as sadness began to fill in my eyes, I already knew I was a monster I didn't need the reminder. I could feel his once warm but now angry and unhappy eyes stare right into me as I continued to stared down at my hand.

"I just got angry dad...that's all.." I muttered.

He sighed deeply as he slouched back into his seat as I felt the tension between us grow.

"that's all? Justin you smashed a mirror and almost broke the wall in your room..." he muttered sternly.

I continued to look down, the look on my their faces when they saw me can never be erased from my mind. I continued to stay quiet, he was probably so ashamed of me. I couldn't think of anything worse than the look on their faces, the fear of me. They were scared of me ,my own family.

Not getting a response from me he finally muttered out again. "You need to control your anger..".

"Dad can we please just drop it, I wasn't thinking when I did it, it's not that big of a deal..." I lied, it was but I just couldn't stand the thought of it anymore. Nothing could be worse, nothing.

"Not a big deal? Justin what if Ava Grace was there." My eyes widened as I let out a shaken breath, what if she saw me like this, I couldn't handle it if she was scared of me too.

"What if you hurt her.." he continued.

A sick feeling began to form in the pit of my stomach, how could he say or even think that way?.

"I would never hurt Ava, you should know that by now." I looked at my dad sternly trying to hold in the sadness straining my features. My heart sank as he shook his head no, "I don't know what to believe anymore Justin..". "

Believe me. I'd never hurt her." I said as I felt the anger boil inside of me and my hand ball into a fist. "

But you could..." he continued.