Clouded (Jc Caylen fanfiction)

Chapter 23

( Jc's P.O.V )

"Condabon!" Ricardo shouted hugging Connor who laughed and replied returning a goofy greeting.

I swear you could hear them through the whole god damn airport because of how loud they were.

The rest of the boys greeted each other and talked to Ricardo as I sat in a nearby airport Starbucks with a coffee observing them from afar. I know what you're thinking, I should probably be over there with them but I just didn't think I could do it, handle them all at once that is.

I sat at the table resting my elbow on it with a hand at the bottom of my chin as I glanced back down at my Iphone in my other hand. My hand had healed almost completely and the stitches have been removed. I was just thankful I wouldn't get questioned and that I would be able hide the small cut left behind from it all.

None of the guys had any idea I was having these thoughts, not even Ricardo or Shane. Every night I would lay there wide awake with all these different scenarios of how I could get away with it, with just ending it all. I wanted to end all the pain and suffering.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the chair across from me being pulled out.

I glanced up to a tall figure wearing tight black jeans and a white tank top with the word Swag written across his chest in red. He looked down at me with his warm caramel brown eyes.

Kian.

"What’s up" He smiled taking a seat across from me at the table.

Well let’s see my heart is being torn apart because I'm losing my mind and composure, I hate myself and all I want to do is end this pain I have inside.

"Not much really" I replied forcing a false smile.

"Really? I thought there was always something to do here in Texas," He continued as he took hold on my half empty coffee cup slightly swirling the now cold contents inside. He was oblivious and unaware, If only he knew.

I shrugged and laughed a bit, trying to hide the sadness and hurt I was feeling. To be honest I was getting better at hiding my pain, so people didn't have to worry about me.

"Nah it's been too hot to really do anything" I replied.

"Fair enough, but I'm sure your opinion on doing stuff will change while we're here" he smirked.

"Little Justin!" I heard a familiar voice shout looking over to see Ricky and Sam making their way over as Ricardo continued to talk to Trevor and Connor by the terminal.

I let out another fake smile," Hey guys"

"Why are you being such a loner over here!" Ricky sassed and laughed, "How's it going? "

"Good," I lied.

"Hey I've been over here Ricky!" Kian stated motioning to himself with a jokingly annoyed expression on his face.

"That's exactly my point, Jc's here with you making him a loner," Ricky retorted smiling and laughing.

Sam laughed "You walked yourself right into that one".

Kian looked annoyed and huffed crossing his arms.

I smiled a bit, I had to admit I missed the boys and I hoped that I could continue to hide this from them. They came here for a fun time and I intended to keep it that way. The few weeks they would be here would maybe distract me from all of this. Maybe they could get me out of this slump. Get me back to my old self. All I needed to do was let go, I needed to forget this girl. No matter how hard it would be.