I Moved On, Why Don't You

Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello

Joel's pov

"You can't put it off any longer, Joel. I know that it was my idea for you to wait, but______________."

I nodded at Dr Williams words and stood up from the seat where my perfectly healthy and now full size pups wrestled with each other and followed him to the door.

"Someone needs to watch ________."

I'm here, son."

Smiling, I let my mom pull me into a hug, before Dr Williams pulled me away and led me down the hall to the morgue.

"Do I have to do this?"

"Of course not . . . I just figured that you'd want the chance to say goodbye."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, forcing myself to enter the room where my pup lay in a clear plastic refrigerated incubator like container that kept his body from decomposing too quickly. I walked over and stood staring at him, my poor pup that never had the chance to even take a breath.

"He's with the Moon Goddess now, Joel. He'll never suffer again."

"I know, but . . . he should be with his brother and sister, growing and getting stronger, not here . . . he never had a chance and I can't . . . I can't help but feel like its my fault."

"No! No, Joel none of this was your fault . . . if anything it's mine."

Dr Williams stiffened and I turned at the sound of Joey's voice.

"How did you know where I was?"

"I got to the nursery and you weren't there and mom refused to tell me where you were so I followed your scent."

"He should have this time alone to say goodbye."

I know that . . . it's just that he was blaming himself and it's . . . it's all my fault! He won't blame me and I don't understand why, you blame me . . . my mom blames me . . . and the truth is that even if Kyle caused this to happen I could have stopped it a long time ago by telling the truth."

I closed my eyes again, holding a hand up to prevent Joey from speaking again.

"I never told you this . . . I never even told mom . . . Kyle wasn't as perfect as he seemed. There were times when I saw something so dark in him that I was afraid of what he'd do if I left his side. I loved him so much that I could force myself to ignore it until . . . the day he threw me away, he choked me until I almost passed out and then he tried to force me to have sex with him."

"Joel."

"I don't know if he ever really loved me. I don't know if he's capable of loving anyone but himself."

Joey swallowed loudly and I could hear the reluctance in his voice when he spoke again.

"He was glad you got accused of cheating on him . . . he told me he was looking for a reason to leave you. I . . . I just wish that I wasn't the one that gave it to him."

"No, I'm grateful to you. I got to see what he's really like before I became his Luna."

"I don't want to be his mate Joel . . . I'm terrified that he's going to hurt me or my pup . . . he's already said that I'm just your replacement and look what he did to you . . . please help me escape, Joel."

"And where will you go, Joey? The Alpha decided this as a punishment . . . if you run it's only going to get worse."

"I can't do this."

"Yes you can, for the sake of this pack, you have to."

"I know."

I opened my arms and he slowly walked into them.