I Moved On, Why Don't You

For Better Or For Worse

Joel's pov

I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. The fear of being followed kept me from sleeping the last two days we've been traveling to Devlin's pack, my new home until Devlin finally calmed me down by ensuring me that no one was coming after us. As relieved as I felt, I'm also a little angry because I know that Kyle . . . everyone can sense that Zoe link with the pack had been broken and it makes me realize that he doesn't even care that she's gone . . . none of them do because they hate my brother. I'm glad mom convinced us to take Zoe with us, she needs to be in a place where she's loved and protected. That was my last thought before my weariness overtook my body and I drifted off to sleep.

"I'm leaving."

"W-What?"

"I thought I could do this, but it's too much . . . I have to look at another wolf's pups everyday, but you won't give me any of my own? You think that being a mate is simply cleaning and cooking and that's it?"

"Devlin, I_________."

"You think I would be satisfied with a mate that's afraid to let me touch him or to even sleep in the same bed with me? You need to wake up Joel or better yet, get out."

"Why are you doing this, did I . . . is this some kind of mistake?"

"Yeah, and I'm the one who made it. Now get your kids and your crap and get out."

"Devlin, please I have nowhere to go!"

"How is that my problem? Get out."

"Devlin___________."

Instead of answering, Devlin turned away.

"I have someone coming over, you need to be gone before the get here."

"Devlin! Devlin please . . . please, I'll give you pups, I'll be a good mate please . . . don't throw me away!"

"Joel, wake up!"

My eyes flew open and I realized that the car was on the side of the road and I was in the warmth and safety of Devlin's arms, but this time it wasn't enough to stop my tears from falling.

"I'm sorry Devlin."

"No."

"What?"

Releasing me with one arm, Devlin lifted my chin until I was looking in his eyes.

"I will never leave you, Joel and I will never force you to do anything you're not ready for. I know we're going to have alot of challenges to get through before we can be happy, but I'm not in a hurry. I want to get to know you Joel and I want you to get to know me."

"But what about my pups?"

"Our pups? What about them?"

"You're not their sire . . . I don't want you to resent them . . . to resent me."

Devlin sighed, brushing a quick kiss across my lips.

"Joel, when I asked you to be my mate, I realized that I needed to accept everything that's a part of you. I took your pups as my own . . . I took your fear and sadness as my own as well. We are a family now and I am willing to wait as long as it takes to be able to fully claim you."

"T-Thank you."

"I'm the one that should be thanking you. After everything you've been through, you accepted me as your mate and even left your home and family to follow me."

"Would . . . Would it be alright if I fell in love with you?"

"I would be honored Joel."

Smiling, I snuggled closer to Devlin as a thought went through my mind like a bolt of lightning, I might not have to fall in love with Devlin . . . I think I'm already there.

Devlin's pov

I'm glad I got Joel away when I did. I could see that the pain and stress of being a part of his old pack was breaking what little self confidence he had left after everything that happened. I know he's worried about his mom and brother, but I'm more concerned about how he's breaking himself down, trying to make everyone happy. I want to show him that he can't sacrifice his own peace to please everyone else. I glanced over at him quickly, a small smile crossing my lips when I realized he'd finally fallen asleep as I turned my attention back to the road.
He'd had me worried, refusing to sleep no matter how hard I tried to convince him that we weren't being followed. Lifting a hand, I brushed gentle fingertips over his cheek, shivering when I felt sparks tingling across my skin.

'I'm so glad you chose me, Joel. I know you weren't sure and you don't love me, but I hope you're willing to give me the chance to heal your heart.'

Joel let out a whimper and I looked away from the road to quickly glance at him. I could tell something was wrong and my heart clenched with the thought that he was remembering the things he'd suffered at the hands of his former pack. He suddenly clutched onto my arm, his whimper becoming a pathetic whine and I pulled over so I could turn my full attention to him. His mouth was moving silently, as if he was pleading with someone, but I couldn't make out the words.

"Joel it's ok, I'm here with you, they can't hurt you anymore."

Joel started to thrash around and tears started to spill down his cheeks. I lifted my hand to brush them away, but I froze at the words that spilled desperately from his trembling lips.

"Devlin! Devlin please . . . please I'll give you pups, I'll be a good mate please . . . don't throw me away!"

I instantly broke from my stupor, gently pulled Joel into my arms, breathing in his soothing scent.

"Joel, wake up!"

He let out a choked gasp and I felt water soaking my shirt.

"I'm sorry Devlin.

Knowing what he was about to say, I quickly cut him off.

"No."

He struggled in my hold until we were looking at each other.

"I will never leave you and I will never force you to do anything that you're not ready for. I know we're going to have alot of challenges to get through before we can be happy, but I'm not in a hurry. I want to get to know you Joel and I want you to get to know me."

"But what about my pups?"

"Our pups. What about them?"

Joel lowered, his head and I could tell he was struggling with himself. Finally he looked up at me again and I saw a confidence in his gaze that hadn't been there since I met him.

"You're not their sire . . . I don't want you to resent them . . . to resent me."

Letting out a soft sigh, I gently brushed my lips against his, pulling away before he could get uncomfortable.

"Joel, when I asked you to be my mate, I realized that I needed to accept everything that's a part of you. I took your pups as my own . . . I took your fear and sadness as my own as well. We are a family now and I am willing to wait as long as it takes to fully claim you."

"T-Thank you."

I smiled at him, pulling him a little closer.

"I'm the one that should be thanking you. After everything you've been through, you accepted me as your mate and family to follow me."

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest at Joel's next words and I felt like I had won the lottery.

"Would . . . Would it be alright if I fell in love with you?"

"I would be honored Joel."

Joel snuggled into my chest and I could feel his lips curve into a smile against my chest and I sent a silent thank you to the Moon Goddess for giving me the chance to love and be loved by the man in my arms.