Eren's messed up life (Levi x Eren)

Savoir

~ Eren's POV ~

I didn't hear a word of what Jean was murmuring away to at Reiner and the rest of his little group of friends, the only thing I could comprehend was 'this is the end'.

Mind blank, my body tense upon his rock hard shoulder, I took in a long shaky breaths. Every now and then he would push me, pull my or just throw me around on different sides of his shoulder to make it more comfortable for him, not for me though, for me, at all times in which he did that, it only became more agonizing.

My rib cage, being forced even deeper into his shoulder bone, began bending ways it shouldn't. To badly in a state of shock, I can't bring myself to fight in anyway against him. The panic that rushed through my body and the breath I could so little get from trying to act dead, I hung frozen in his arms.

Hope is not being something given to me, for any little hope I have becomes shattered and taken away. Like my life. My hairs blew across my face, the comforting sound of the birds screaming, calling my name. However, their words are unknown to me, sadly.

My mind move's to the 'goodbyes' though who do I say goodbye to?

If this were to happen I'd be reunited to my mother, my father, my sister, my best-friend, my life which was meanly taken from me. So it wouldn't be bad would it? I wouldn't be leaving anything behind, right? Well except for my work, but this gives me a reason to leave and if that's true I should be grateful, grateful for what little life I had and where it's taking me now.

Taking me back to my loved ones.

Minute's felt like seconds, the birds song becoming hushed, into a, somewhat, lullaby soothing me into a dream like state. Someone's hand grabs a-hold of my waist, not nicely though, enough to make a bruise. It took a lot in myself not to yelp, jump or flinch in surprise, but when I did I was proud of myself. Proud that I'm able to truly face head on to my given death.

The voice's of people I once knew, song's of birds once heard and the whistle's of the wind which once ruffled my hair become inaudible when I was throw, with no hesitation, to the nearly frozen water.

Water flies up my side, but as if knowing it was me, it coated around me into a huge wave, covering my body for the coffin what is made for me.

My breath was gone in seconds, all around me blurred into black blobs of shapes. Circling me curiously, they watched me vanishing into the darker depths of the water.

My body's weight lifts from me, my body swirling around so my back faces the bottom of the lake which I await to lay upon. Facing the sky, eyes watching the human figures loam over the water staring down at me, making for sure no trace of me was shown, I was as they run off to the freedom, the freedom I can't have.

The walls of mud either side of me feels like a cage, the sandy mud beneath me pulling me to it's hold. The water around me chants to me, laughing at the air what in which I urge for. My body relaxes, but all I can do is frown at the painful jolt I felt inside my lungs, my brain screaming and crying for me to fight.

The heart aching cries of wanted air in my mind I give up, realizing I truly am not ready to leave. Not like Mikasa, or Armin, I won't go, I'll live for them... should I? Yet that choice didn't come up for me when my legs fought against the water kicking, flinging, throwing themselves all around in panic to find something to push off, my arms reaching out to the weeds brushing against my sinking body only when I tugged on them, they ripped from their roots and become of no use to me.

My lungs now badly burning, throat swelling up with the air caught up in my throat wishing to escape. Thinking my lips were about to burst open, my lips part ajar, bubble's floating out, but having water come right in.

It was then I saw it. Saw the thing which could save me. Saw my last hope.

The minute my body gave up was the minute that's I saw my savior.

The figure was big, a human figure for sure, but weirdly all they did was float above my limp, drowning body and watched me, doing nothing more, just... watching.

My hand tiredly reached up for them in hope they'd do what they thought best when my sight was blocked off from a swimming finish. It's fin slapping me in the face, its scales skimming my numb cheek; that it came unfelt by me.

I couldn't help but give up trying, seeing them do nothing towards trying to save me, I understood then I wasn't worthy of being saved. Hopeless was want I am, so allowing the tiredness to wash over me, no longer trying to hold it back. My eyes swell up with tears, though they become covered up by the water enveloping me. Giving into the darkness, I calmly flutter my eyes shut.

My body, all of a sudden becoming overly heavy, sunk even further down, fast at that. Reopening my eyes in search and in someway to say 'goodbye' to the mysterious figure, they widen only so much seeing them fight their way towards me, there black outline widening with every strong push they took to get to me.

Swimming a tad bit closer to my body, I let myself smile, the smiling being on the inside as unwilling lips move. Eye's closing once again, I ignore the figure trying to reach out to my dying body.

'Don't do it,' I think out, hoping in some way the other being can hear me. 'Save yourself, be free. Go. It's worthless...'

Feeling the last of my saved up air release from my lungs, my mind drifted into the darkness of oblivion. 

- End of Chapter Three -