(A/N: All characters, aside from Voldermort from Harry Potter, are from Warriors, a series by Erin Hunter)
Tigerstar: Hello, my little pretties! *wrings paws*
Hawkfrost: *peeks out from behind camera* What?! Tigerstar, act fierce! You're a freaking evil cat!
Tigerstar: DON'T SASS ME! I was just born- *flips nonexistent hair* -FABULOUS!
Hawkfrost: *groans* Dad, you're embarrassing me!
Tigerstar: Well, sorry that I, the magnificent leader of Dark Forest, am not your ideal father! *swishes tail in a fabulous manner*
Hawkfrost: Can we hurry up and do the dumb thing?!
Tigerstar: Yes, of course! We need to kill more cats for Voldermort!... *creepy smile*
Hawkfrost: *facepaw*
Tigerstar: Am I embarrassing you? *hugs Hawkfrost, stroking his head* There, there, my little me.
Hawkfrost: Dad, please. Staph.
Flametail
Tigerstar: *messes with a flip lighter* I wonder what this will do?
Hawkfrost: Dad, don't mess with it. It'll burn you. And how did you get that Twoleg thing?!
Tigerstar: Cloudtail. *yowls* OH, FLAMETAIL!
Flametail: *darts in* You rang?
Tigerstar: No, I burn! *sets Flametail's tail on fire*
Flametail: *shrieks* OH MY STARCLAN WHAT THE HECK?! *runs into lake* *drowns*
Tigerstar: *evil laughing*
Hawkfrost: This chapter is gonna be ironic, isn't it? *slumps down*
Firestar/heart
Hawkfrost: *adjusts camera* Alright, we are rolling in three, two, one-
Cloudtail: *tackles Hawkfrost* HAWKY!
Hawkfrost: *hisses* What?!
Cloudtail: Your name is HAWKY, now!
Hawkfrost: Says who?!
Cloudtail: My uncle, Firestar!
Hawky: *shouts* Dad! Can we kill Firestar, next?!
Tigerstar: *runs in* *sniffles* My nine lifelong dream will come true, Hawky! IT SHALL!
Hawky: STOP CALLING ME THAT!!
Tigerstar: I have the perfect bait to trap my foe! *sets a cookie down on a rock underneath a rickety branch*
Hawky: Really?!
*distant meowing*
Firestar: *runs to the cookie* MY PRECIOUS! *huddles on it and snarls*
*the branch falls on Firestar, crushing him*
Firestar: *dead*
Tigerstar: Quick! Get his heart!
Hawky: *slips away from a jittery and oblivious Cloudtail and plucks Firestar's heart out*
Tigerstar: *snatches it and lights it ablaze* YAY! *sets it down and prances around it, screaming nonsense*
Hawky: Can we change my name back?
Tigerstar: Hm? Oh, yeah, your Hawkfrost.
Honeyfur
Tigerstar: *flicking a random stick around with his paws* Who shall we torture next, my mini me?
Hawkfrost: I dunno. You're the one who wanted to do this dumb thing. *munches on tuna burger*
Tigerstar: *light bulb appears over head* Son, I just had a great idea!
*later*
Hawkfrost: *leading Honeyfur* This way...
Tigerstar: *hides beehive behind back* Perfect!
Honeyfur: What's going on-
Tigerstar: *smashes hive and smothers Honeyfur's fur in honey*
Honeyfur: *spits honey out of mouth* What the heck?! *Bees buzz angrily around her* *shrieks and runs off slowly*
Tigerstar: Mwah ha ha ha! *claps paws together evilly*
Hawkfrost: *glances at time* Shoot, we're out of time. I'm gonna shut the camera off.
Tigerstar: WAIT! I NEED TO SAY MY LINE!
Hawkfrost: *rolls eyes* Fine.
Tigerstar: Well, sadly we have to end this episode of-!
Hawkfrost: Dad, this isn't a show... it's a chapter.
Tigerstar: Why did you ruin my dream of owning a show?! D:
Hawkfrost: Logic.
Tigerstar: Fine! I'm gonna go watch Powerpuff Girls... *sulks off*
Hawkfrost: What the actual HECK is wrong with you?!
YOU ARE READING
Random Book of Random
Humor(The picture on the cover is from Fullmetal Alchemist) This is just random things. From random ideas. In my random mind.
