Eyes Open {Book 1}

Chapter 16

"If I weren't so cold, we could unfreeze these moments. And as the world grows old, we'll leave no heart unbroken." - 17 Crimes by AFI (LA Riots Remix)

Chapter 16

Christy's POV

The small motel room was dark. The only sounds heard were the soft snores coming from Harry's mouth. His arm draped over me, protectively tucked under my hip, securing me against his bare chest. His forehead leaned on the back of my head, his breath fanning over my neck. No matter how heavy my eyes seemed to feel, I couldn't get my tired body to relax and fall asleep. My stomach knotted with mixed feelings. Half of it with happiness after being so intimate with Harry. The other half was fear, afraid of Andrew or one of his minions busting through the cheap motel room door and taking me away from Harry. Or worse, killing him. Don't get me wrong, I felt safe with Harry lying next to me. His warm skin on my bare stomach made me feel protected, more protected than I ever felt in the past three years.

I buried my face deeper into the pillow, covering my nose and mouth, cutting off my breathing. Maybe if I were to just silently go, right here, right now, in Harry's arms, things wouldn't be so complicated. Maybe Andrew would stop looking for me and stop harassing Harry. Maybe, just maybe, Harry really didn't love me as much as I loved him, and he could just forget about me. He could slowly untangle himself from my cold body. He could walk out of this room, leaving the housekeeping to find me pale and tangled in the sheets.

But even I couldn't bear the idea of living the "after life" without him. And even I knew he loved me, maybe less or maybe more than I did him, but he did love me. I gasped for air as I lifted my head, realizing death couldn't be an option. No matter if I left, someone would get the pain that follows with my troubles. It would be too selfish for me to take the easy way out while leaving Harry and Mikey here to handle Andrew's wrath.

As much I wanted to lay here forever, telling myself it was all a dream and Harry and I could be happy, it wasn't true. Andrew was going to find us, because he wouldn't stop. He wanted his revenge and he always seemed to get his way. Andrew didn't love me, he never did, but he couldn't stand the fact that for once, he was someone's second choice. Someone left him, betrayed him. If he couldn't have me, then no one would. He wasn't going to stop until I was with him... or dead. No doubt in my mind, if he were to find us, the first thing he would do was kill Harry. Put a bullet straight into his head.

The thought actually made my stomach hurt and I could feel the watery feeling rising in my throat. I brought my hand up to my mouth as I scooted out of the bed sheets, trying my hardest not to wake Harry. At least he was able to sleep. I grabbed the large blanket off the floor that had been pushed off the bed during our love making and wrapped it around my body. My feet rubbed against the rough carpet as I sped into the bathroom, lightly closing the door behind me. My stomach twisted again as I heaved into the toilet. My fingers gripped the edge of the counters; my knuckles turning white. My head had begun to pound as I stood up straight. Taking hand fulls of water, I sloshed them into my mouth, washing out the bad taste in my mouth. Taking deep breaths in, I turned the door knob in my hand.

I tiptoed passed the bed, Harry still sprawled on the mattress, fast asleep, and headed out the door of the room. The cold air hit my face like a slap. Goosebumps immediately rose on my skin. I didn't care that all I had was a blanket wrapped around my body. It felt good to stand outside and breathe. To just breathe.

I closed my eyes, taking in steady, deep breaths. I let the air flow in through my nostrils, invading my lungs, filling them up like balloons. Everything in the world seemed to be spinning around me. It felt like it was never going to end. Maybe I would always be running. Maybe I would always have pain and fear with me. Maybe that's what I get for falling in love with a monster. Sometimes thinking about the idea of me once being in love with such a horrible human being made me want to break down; to rip my hair out.