Eyes Open {Book 1}

Chapter 21

"She, she is the words that I can't find. How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive? And I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe to save my life. All my chances swim like sinking ships. This time it's it, I'll drown or make her mine." - She (For Liz) by Parachute

Chapter 21

Harry's POV

My leg bobbed up and down as I sat in the uncomfortable chair just outside the swinging doors Christy and the doctors disappeared into over an hour ago. The hospital was cold, sending chills and tingling goose bumps across my skin. The various screams of agony from other patients echoed through the hallways occasionally, reminding me of the screams and pain I used to inflict on others. I clenched my eyes shut as the memories began to seep back into my mind. Tears burned the back of my throat as the thoughts haunted me. I pressed my hands to my ears as more cries faintly sounded.

Pain. What if Christy was in pain right now? I was the cause of this. She was bleeding out in there and for all I knew, she was gone... forever.

"Harry?" Mikey came running in through the entrance, causing the chilling night wind to whirl around the lobby.

Where the hell had he been?

Sweat glistened on his forehead as he stepped forward, making the bags under his eyes more prominent as the poor lighting hit his face. I could hear his erratic breathing as he inched closer.

"How is she?" He asked, taking the seat next to me. His chest heaved up and down as if he had been running.

I shrugged, unable to give a satisfying answer. "They took her into surgery over an hour ago. I haven't heard anything yet."

He sighed, leaning his head back on the wall behind him. "That's a good thing, right? If they haven't said anything, then she's still alive?"

I clasped my fidgeting hands in front me, entwining my fingers together. I needed to stop moving. My muscles were fighting against me. They wanted to move; to tremble and shake with nerves and guilt. So many thoughts raced through my mind as if my brain was running laps within my skull.

Was she going to be okay?

Was Andrew still coming after us?

Maybe he thought she was dead.

If she wasn't...

What would we do next?

Maybe it would never end. Maybe we would always be running, unable to catch our breath along the way. This isn't the life I wanted. That's why I left. And this surely wasn't the life Christy deserved. She left him for a new life. A new chance. But instead, the crazy life she lived before spun out of control when she met me. She was pulled into this life by a monster. The question was which monster? Me or Andrew?

"How's your shoulder?" I looked back at Mikey.

"Sore but I'll live. Thanks." He said. I nodded at him, unsure on what else to say. I looked down at my fingers, nervously picking at my cuticles.

"Harry, you don't have to try and make small talk. I know there are a million things flying through your mind. Sulk, go crazy, do something, but don't act like everything's under control because it's not. This wasn't supposed to happen and I know every part of you wishes you were the one shot, not her." He said, acting like the big brother he always thought he was. I could feel the tears coming.

"Why are you doing this, Mikey?" I looked at him with pleading eyes, wanting more than the normal bullshit answer.

He sighed, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees, just like me. "I told you... She makes you happy, that's-"