I love you, Dork. (A Kevedd Fanfiction)

January 14th

Edd's POV

Waking up, I know it is before dawn as the familiar pale light that usually enters my room has yet to make a presence. There is nothing more that I want than to just go back to sleep, because I know that today is the last day I will be with Kevin. 

Me leaving him is a culmination of emotions, that I can no longer suppress. Knowing that he now has the potential to do anything after high school, I came to the realization I cannot allow him to live my dream in New York. Kevin is too caring--too passionately in love with me that all he can see is a future with us instead of something that benefits himself. 

I couldn't live with myself knowing that I am potentially inhibiting a bright future for Kevin, I love him too much to allow that to happen. 

Soon after I finish getting ready for today, I hear his familiar knock at my door.  Holding back the tears, and anguish I put on my best brave face. 

"Salutations Kevin." I slip out, trying to sound enthusiastic, but the words come out monotone and flat. 

"Hey Dork." Before I can object, he presses his beautiful lips to mine for what I can assume will be one of the last times. I try my best not to kiss back to no avail, I can let myself be selfish for a couple more seconds, I try to convince myself. 

Kevin's POV

My heart stands at attention, as Edd finishes speaking the obviously scripted speech to me. 

"This doesn't have to end this Edd. I will follow you wherever you go!" I scream in protest, my voice cracking.

"Even more the reason we need to go our separate ways Kevin. I cannot be accountable for ruining a bright future for you!" 

"There is no future for me without you Edd, can't you see that!?" 

"Please don't speak that way Kevin. You don't need me, you never have--you will flourish just the same without me." Edd whispers, clearly on the verge of crying. 

"Just tell me that you love me! Those words are enough for me to follow you to New York Edd."

"I can't say it Kevin...I-just-can't."

"Please." I say, barely audible as a last ditch effort to stop to inevitable end to this conversation. 

"Goodbye Kevin." He finishes, turning his back to me.

 Waiting until his ears are out of reach, I fall to the ground and cry.  My tears are inconsolable, and the wave of sadness that his words have brought to me is the most potent I have ever felt. 

How can I forgot a person that gave me so much worth remembering?

Edd's Pov

Driving home I cannot dismiss the look in Kevin's eyes when I broke up with him. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and there is very little stopping me from going and begging for him back. Knowing that he now has the possibility to live his own, authentic life is the only thing keeping me on heading home.

Pulling into my driveway, I cut the ignition quickly. Without the sound of the engine, I am left in utter silence to reflect on the events of this evening. Why does doing the right thing make me feel so terrible? And why is it that when I try to act selfless do I feel like the "bad guy"? I know I am not going to sleep a wink tonight, because my mind will undoubtedly wonder to thoughts of Kevin. 

I just pray and hope that one day he will forgive and forget all about me; I know it's futile for me to attempt to move on because he was the best thing to happen to me.