Beautiful Chaos

Chapter Eleven

I awoke slowly, the events of last night slowly making their way back to me. I quietly got out of bed and made my way to the shower. I felt the warm water run down my body, relaxing my tense muscles. After washing my hair, I grabbed the towel lying on the sink and rushed back into my room to get dressed. Logan was gone. I had no idea where, but he surely wasn't here. Luckily we were returning back to our main apartment tomorrow and the dreadful memories of the London one would be left behind. I picked up my phone from the night stand, going through the multitude of missed calls and texts from Logan. What was this game he was trying to play anyway? As much as I didn't want to see him, a small part of me silently wished he would return soon.

Logan's POV

The brisk London air brushed against my uncovered face, sending chills through my entire body. I didn't know where I was or where I was going, but I knew I had to get out of that apartment. After dodging several photographers, I ended up in a small neighborhood. What was I supposed to do? It seemed that the damage I had done was unfixable. It pained my heart to realize this. All I want to do is show Lauren that she can be happy. Guys have treated her like absolute crap in the past, and I wanted to be the one who opened her eyes to what life could be like. After her stubbornness towards the whole forced relationship she failed to grasp the fact that I really did care for her and it brought out a side of me I didn't know existed. I had called her and texted her multiple times and she didn't return any of them. I need to get back to the apartment soon to pack for our flight home, but I can't bring myself to face the rejection awaiting me.

Lauren's POV

A light knock sounded at the door and my heart fluttered slightly at the thought it could be Logan. How could someone treat me so badly, but I still find myself returning to his warmth? Even though what we had was never real, I found myself slowly becoming attached to the idea of our relationship. Although Logan claims that it's real, the parts of me that want to believe him are still highly guarded. I half walked half ran towards the door and swung it open abruptly. I fought the smile forming on my lips when I saw him standing in front of me. I had to hold my ground. "Lauren. We need to talk." He stated. I nodded silently in agreement and lead the way to the sofa in the apartment's living room. We sat down simultaneously, awkwardly avoiding each other's eye contact. "I-I uh don't know where to start." He laughed uncomfortably. "Lauren, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Whatever you went through isn't any of my business it's just you know how to push my buttons and get reactions out of me that I didn't know existed. You have no idea how much I regret what I said. It kills me to think that someone has hurt you so badly that you can hardly let people in anymore. I wish you could see the way I look at you. I know that you think I'm doing it for the money, but that's not true. I don't know how else to prove it to you. I just want you to let me in. I know we haven't been together that long but I wish you could notice me, Lauren. You don't realize how beautiful you truly are. The way you look when you're laughing at something, or when you're concentrating really hard on something and you bite your lip, or when you're on stage and you just take a moment and look around at the audience and can see the appreciation on your face, or when your dancing just because you can even when there's no music playing, or when you sleep and your chest is slowly rising and falling and your hair is sprawled out on the pillows. I wish you would take those walls down long enough for you to notice that the people around you really do care about you, and I'm one of those people." He explained. I stared into his eyes, taking in every detail of them. How did he know exactly what to say?

"I-I don't know what to say." I said.

"You don't have to say anything at all if that's what you want. I just wanted you to hear what I had to say and hopefully you can find it in you to forgive me." He answered. Wow he really knew how to pull at your heart.

"I just need to think." I said, breaking my own heart. I didn't really want to have time to think, but I couldn't give in that easily, I suppose I have too much self-respect. He nodded in agreement and stood up from the couch.

"There's a local coffee shop two blocks from here, I'll be there if you need me or something." He said, grabbing his coat from the hanger. I didn't respond, still sitting on the couch replaying everything that had just occurred. Could Logan really mean everything he had said? Was it possible I was being too hard on him? Isn't it funny how in the beginning I was chasing him and now he's the one chasing me? I didn't want to hurt Logan anymore because I was only hurting myself. I wanted to let go, take the fall, but I was afraid. I had never been in a real relationship and the idea of falling in love with someone scared me tremendously. I had made up my mind, and now it was time to deliver the verdict.

Logan's POV

I walked down the streets of London once again, reliving everything I had said to her. All she responded with was that she needed time. I probably made a fool of myself telling her all those things but I truly didn't care. I needed her to realize how much I really cared for her. "LOGAN!" I turned my head, looking around for who was calling my name. I watched as Lauren's small body ran up to mine, her hair flowing underneath her beanie. "Logan." She said once again, her breathing uneven. "I want to give us a try." She explained. "But I want to take it slow, I've never done anything like this before and to be honest I am so afraid." She said.

"I am too." I said, a huge smile forming.