I'm new at life, sorry.

It sucks to be me

- You have to let me go, Justin.- I say looking at his eyes.

- No. - He stares at me with desire in his eyes.- Stop crying and kiss me.- Before I have time to react he makes me get come closer to him and he kisses me, still grabbing my arm strongly I try to stop him, I try to separate from him but still feel his tongue in my mouth, he gives me no choice. I slap him in the face.

- Ouch.- He says gligging.- Why did you do that? - He asks still smiling.

I don't understand anything. Why is he acting like that now. I get my arm off his hand with no problem.

- I gotta go.- I say looking at him.

- I see you tomorrow? - He says nicely. I don't answer. I don't understand what happened. He's high, he's so high. 

- We will see.- I answer and turn around to get out of that house. I get Rocky in my arms and walk out of there. I'm scared. What the fuck has happened with him. If he has being doing this for a while, why didn't he act like that before? Agh, and now I have to stay in my house, I seriously need to have more friends in my life. But... I don't really like people. They're all stupid people that think they live in a movie. Stupid people that having a boyfriend and going to Starbucks everyday make them happy. Stupid people that actually believe everything they hear is true. Everything they feel is true.

I get in my house and go upstairs to my room. I lie down on my bed with Rocky and we fall asleep.

When I wake up I see in my phone it's already 12am. Rocky isn't by my side and I don't feel like going to school. The door of my bedroom is opened and I hear noises coming from downstairs. It must be my mom. I ignore it and sink my face into the pillow. 

- Jen honey, are you there? - I hear my mom screaming.

- Yeah! - I asnwer. I have to talk to her. I need her to explain me everything. I get up of the bed and go downstairs, she's in the kitchen, I sit down.

- Do you want anything to eat?

- No, thanks...- She turns around and start coocking something for her.- Mom, what happened?

- What do you mean?

- What do I mean? I think you know what do I mean.- She looks at me.- You ended in the hospital!

- Drugs honey, don't ever try them.- She says seriously.

- Who gave them to you.- I swallow and hope it's not who I think.

- You know him.- She turns around. I feel like crying. Everything has changed in such a short period of time. 

- That is why you didn't want me to go out with him? - I guess.- Because he has drugs?

- He doesn't only have drugs, honey, he works in a company, an ilegal company.- Her words are hurting. Her words are seriously hurting. Thinking you know someone so well and then discovering that they have been lying to you all this time. It hurts. 

- Since when.- I'm seriously not sure if I want to go on with this conversation. But I need to know.

- Two years or so... He told me he had to sell 44 pounds in like 1 week or he'd be fired... So I had to buy him some.- I nod and don't answer. I get up and go to my room.

So, he's high because he didn't sell all the drugs... And that's why he's accepting the school job. 

I need to see him. I change my clothes and go out. I start walking to his house. When I'm almost there I hear someone behind me.

- Where are you going Jen? - I turn around.

She's smiling.