Middle Ground

What Shouldn't Be Lost

Ella’s POV

She got into a car accident. She got into a car accident. She got into a car accident. She got into a car accident. She got into a car accident.

The nurse’ words kept on replaying in my head as I slowly sink into the ground, still, in front of the nurse.

This is freaking summer break but then it turned out to be the worst I’ve ever experienced like in my entire life.

Oh my God, what just happened?

“Hey…” The nurse grabbed me by the arm, trying to make me stand up so being the strong girl I am, I stand up. “I’m really sorry…”

I gave her a weak smile. “It’s not our faults to blame.”

She gave me an apologetic look and smile before she said something that goes with ‘I have to get back to work, once again, I’m sorry.’

I mean she shouldn’t be; it’s not our fault then why is she saying she’s sorry?

Why did this have to happen? Why oh my God, WHY?

“Ella,” I looked up to see dad, “what’s wrong?”

I closed my eyes for a moment then opened them again. “M-mom, s-she got into a c-car accident.”

Dad looked like he was about to beat the shit out of someone but then instead, he sobbed and wrapped his arms around me. “Look Ella, whatever you do, you have to be strong, alright? Things— things like these happen in life whether we like it or not. Danielle’s heart is already beating and mom is going to be alright so we don’t need to be weak about it, okay? It’s going to be—”

“But what if it’s not?” I asked, cutting him off and shoving him away from me.

He sighed. “Just think positive and look on the bright side—”

“What bright side?” Now, I’m nearly to shouting. “There is no bright side at this moment, dad, there is not! Danielle’s heart just stopped beating because of God knows what a-and mom— mom, she got into a fucking car accident and we don’t know her status; how are you saying things are going to be alright when a knife just stabbed me in the chest, leaving all the pain?” I shouted at that one but then I calm my nerves down. “I know it’ll be alright in the end but at this sort of point, there is no bright side.”

First of all, let me just say that I’m proud of what is said because, hello! How can you say it’s going to be alright when it’s not? That’s one person’s bullshit that I’m not gullible of. I’m just like one of those girls who take ‘it’ll be fine’ in this sort of situation.

I feel my heart start to ache slowly but then I breathe hard to keep myself stable. Dad was just there, standing and looking at his feet, not knowing what to say. Maybe it’s because of me; I thought about that for a moment then came the realization that it was.

“Dad,” I wrapped my arms around him, “I’m sorry, I’m just— I’m just freaked out and traumatic and I just have no idea what to do. It hurts a lot seeing my twin sister like that and to hear someone you love got into a car accident; I just can’t take that.”

He smiled at me weakly. “It’s alright honey, it’s not your entire fault; I should’ve remembered you were this type of person that doesn’t take what I said as something to relate in the situation.”

“Want to go and check on mom?” I offered him and he nodded.

We asked the nurses where her room is at and it was on the B block, door number 12. On our way there was silent. I think I know that I know what dad’s thinking about. It’s probably the same thing: is she going to be alright? How is she? Why did this happen or how did this happen?