Fixate on the frailty

I Am Slowly Suffocating From the Weight of My Past

No cure for how I feel inside

A few months later, Andrew had completely moved in with me. I had no privacy over anything. If he wanted to read my texts, he could. If he wanted to see me e-mails, he could. He told me who I could hang out with and who I couldn't. Sophie was okay. Endymion was iffy. Any of my guy friends? Not allowed to see them. He told me what I could and couldn't wear, and yeah, you could tell me that it's all part of the lifestyle, but, I was starting to feel trapped and when he started getting abusive, that's when I knew I had to get out of Andrew's clutches.
"You're my little pain slut, aren't you, Raven? You need me to hurt you in order to feel. In order to feel loved and alive, isn't that right?" He asked me as he dug his nails into my breasts.
"Y-yes, Sir," I whimpered as I held back tears as I knew that if I started crying, I would get I to trouble.
"Good slut. You're mine, aren't you?"
I nodded, knowing that as much as I tried, I would never be able to get away from him. He released me and then jerked himself off until he came on my chest, making me sob, feeling so worthless and so used.
"Only I will ever love you, do you hear me, Raven?" He asked me...

Chris POV

All of a sudden, her voice trails off and her eyes glaze over slightly. I put my hand on her arm to get her attention and she snaps. She starts sobbing uncontrollably.
"Andrew, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I tried to be a good girl! Please, don't hurt me!" She sobs.
"Raven, it's me, it's Chris," I say gently, trying to touch her again.
She backs away from me, "Please don't hurt me, I was good, Andrew. I'm your little slut, forever and always."
I reach for my phone and call Sophie, when she doesn't answer, I call Endymion, who luckily picks up.
"Chris, we're actually kinda busy..." He trails off.
"Raven is freaking out, I don't know how to reach her, please, help me," I beg.
"What happened?"
"She was talking about her past, and then she just zones out and started crying, asking for forgiveness and saying she is Andrew's good girl."
"We'll be right over, don't try to touch her, don't even go near her," Endymion replies before hanging up.
I sit on the opposite wall watching the fragile girl break herself down. She slumps to the wall and is muttering something under her breath, rocking back and forth slightly. Her nails, I can see, are digging into her arms and leaving marks. She has a dead, unaware look in her eyes and it's not like she's not even here.
I hear the slamming of the door before Endymion and Sophie come running in. Sophie goes straight over to her friend and starts stroking her hair while talking in a low, comforting voice while he sits next to me.
"What was she saying, Chris. What was she telling you?"
I swallow hard, "She was telling me how Andrew was calling her a pain slut and how she was his and no one else would ever love her. He would abuse the shit out of her because she 'loved it'. She didn't know how to get out of the relationship."
"She's never told us that..."
I look at him, "Are you kidding me?"
He shakes his head, "You know what that means, right?"
I nod, "I do."
It means that if she's opening up to me, then it's going to be a rough time and that I'll be damned if I abandon her during her healing.

Raven POV

I recognise that I'm in a bed and I can't really remember how I got here. I open my eyes to see the bland walls of a hospital and I look down to see an IV in my arm. As I'm starting to sit up, Sophie comes in and runs over to me while pushing me back down.
"Don't try to move too much, okay?" She says while fussing over me.
"What happened?" I ask her. "How did I get here? How long was I out? Where's Chris?"
Sophie bites her lip before glancing at the door before sitting in the chair next to me, "Chris is at home taking a shower, he'll be here soon. You've been out for a day or so, and as for what happened, let's save that story, okay?"
I glare at her, "Sophie, tell me what happened."
The doctor comes in and smiles at me, "Ah, Ms. Boudreaux, I see you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"Confused," I reply.
He chuckles, "I can imagine, but, no pain?"
I shake my head, "My head hurts a little, but that's it."
He nods, "Alright, well, I was told by your boyfriend to wait until he's here to tell you what happened, okay?"
I nod, "Is there anything you can tell me, though?"
"Well, you have a small concussion and will be staying here for about four more hours," he says, "Other then that, you'll have to wait."

Five minutes later, Chris and Endymion walk in. Chris smiles in relief when he sees that I'm awake and turns to the doctor, "Can you just tell her what you told me? I'll tell her the rest."
"Of course, Mr. Cerulli. Raven, you will be prescribed some medication, one is to help reduce panic and anxiety attacks, the other is an anti-depressant, you have an appointment with a psychologist that Mr. Cerulli made and you will continue to see her until you are fully healed. I'll leave you to it," he says, looking at Chris before leaving the room.
"Chris?"
He sighs and sits on the end of the bed reaching over and holding my hands. "You were telling me about your past...and, something happened, either you started remembering memories you repressed for a good reason, or it was just too much for you, you started panicking. You started crying and asking for forgiveness, not from me, but from him. I called Endymion and Sophie because I wasn't able to get anywhere near you. Sophie managed to calm you down, but when Endymion and I came over, you started crying and you hit your head against the wall. When Sophie tried to stop you, you bit her and choking her. The entire time crying that you were a good girl and you didn't want to be punished..." He trails off and squeezes my hand lightly. "Raven, I want to help you heal because obviously you have memories that are repressed and while that can be a good thing, I also don't want you to hurt yourself. I need you to be able to trust me."
I nod slightly while letting it all sink in. I mean, I only remember bits and pieces, Chris talking to me, me telling him my past, and then, it all blacks out. I can't remember anything after that. I look at Soph who is watching me, when I catch her eye, she gives me an encouraging smile and nods. Endymion also nods and I smile at them.
"We'll always be here for you, Raven. So will Chris," Sophie says to us.