Fixate on the frailty

I only had one heart to give

 And you only had one heart to take

Chris POV

There is something about her... Raven Boudreaux. I've been doing this for some time now, and I can see it in her eyes that she has walls up for a reason. Someone hurt her and I want to know who it was. I want to protect her from the world and show her pleasure. I want her to submit to me and only me. Her friend Sophie comes over after awhile and says that it's getting late and they have a long drive home. I put my number into her phone and also give it to Sophie just in case I have questions. Not that I said that, I don't want Raven to not trust me. They leave, and I decide to go back to the bus as well. Ricky comes with me, he is sober enough and tired. I collapse in the couch and he looks at me,

"You want her," he says to me.

I nod, "Yeah, and I don't know what to do about it. I want her so bad, it hurts. I can tell she is hurt and she has walls up to protect her. Rick, I want to be the one to protect her."

He thinks it over, "Well, Endymion was telling me that Sophie wants to move to California and if Sophie goes, Raven goes as well, so."

"You think that having her in California would be easier?"

He gives me a look, "Chris, are you really asking me that?"

I shake my head, " Sorry, it was a stupid question. But, what if she rejects me? Doesn't want me to be her Dom?"

"I doubt it, she seems really attracted to you. You two have similar personalities: closed off, mysterious, able to take care of themselves. Look, Chris, I'm not saying that a relationship with her will be easy, especially if you suspect she has had a hard life, but if you really like her, then why not give it a shot?"

"Thanks, Ricky," I reply, smiling.

He nods tiredly and goes into the bunk alley. I pull out my phone, making my decision.

"Hey, it's Chris."

"Hey, Chris. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm at the bus 'cause I was tired. Angelo came with me. The rest of them r party animals."

"Haha. I can imagine. Ghost looks like he has too much energy for his own good. Where r u going next on ur tour?"

"Newark, I believe."

"Wow, that's a change. From NYC to Newark? Haha I grew up in NJ, so."

"Really? I lived in Pennsylvania."

"Yeah."

"Alright, well, I just wanted to check in, good night, Raven."

"Night, Chris."

I put my phone away and pull out my laptop, googling her name. I get her Tumblr page and I scroll through it, reading some of the poetry she's written, she's really good and I can understand why she chose writing as an outlet. She has a way with words that I can't express. I come to one poem. It's called Vicodin and Alcohol. Reading it, I see it's her taking the phrase, "love is a drug", and twisting it. Saying that whoever it was, was giving her Vicodin, and Weed. While giving her Ecstasy and some alcohol to wash it all down and make her forget that they're a bad person. It's extremely moving and I so desperately want to know who it was that hurt her. How anyone could hurt a person like her is... unspeakable. She's so tiny and innocent.

The rest of the guys come stumbling onto the bus and go into their respective bunks. Surprisingly, Balz is alone, he normally tries to pick up a girl simply because he's the only single one in the group. Well, besides me, but, for the most part he's the only one who's single.

I put my stuff away and also go to my bunk. I grab my clothes and go to the bathroom and shower. If there's one thing I hate the most, it's going to bed with my concert look on. I like to go to bed feeling clean. I shower quickly and put on boxers before brushing my teeth and crawling into bed.

Raven POV

"Chris likes you," Sophie teases me.

I blush, grateful that she can't tell because I'm sitting behind her and the car is dark. "I doubt it."

"Shut up, Raven. Chris Motionless has got a thing for you. Like, not even kidding."

I bite my lip, "Okay, maybe he does."

"What do you think, babe?" She asks Endymion.

Endymion shrugs, "I think that if he asks Raven to be his sub, she should say yes. It would be an opportunity she can't refuse."

"But, we live in New York and he lives in Cali," I reply sadly.

"We're moving to Cali, remember?" Soph reminds me.

"True, but, what if we're wrong and he doesn't actually want me?"

Soph turns around in her seat, "Raven, I want you to listen and I want you to listen good. If Chris doesn't want you, that's his loss because you are an amazing person and any guy would be lucky to have you. If anyone tries to hurt you, they'll have to deal with me and they don't want to deal with me because I'll kick their ass and make them wish that they were never born. You are like a sister to me and I protect family. Don't think down on yourself because it's not true. They're the lies Andrew fed you and they're tricking you into thinking things that aren't true."

I smile a little and nod, "Thank you, Sophie. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby girl."

I sit back and think about what she said. Andrew did feed me a lot of lies and I had to do a lot of inner reflecting for me to realise it was all bullshit. I lean back and close my eyes, it's been a long day...