Fixate on the frailty

Lips On My Boomstick

Chris POV
Just when I think I am truly going to go insane, my phone rings. It's Raven, it's my lovely bird, calling me.
"Hello?" Did that sound too excited? Dammit! Maybe she'll hang up now.
"Hi, Chris," she replies, cool and collected, just like always. "We need to talk and I wanted you to come by to Endymion's and Sophie's for lunch. They will be there strictly to moniter, but will not intrude."
My heartbeat speeds up at the prospect of just talking with her again. This is a choice between keeping my sanity or losing it.
"Chris?"
"Huh?"
She sighs, "What do you say? Do you want to or not?"
"Yes, I would. I would like that very much. When do you want to meet?"
"Tomorrow," she replies. "I have to go, see you then, Christopher."
Ouch, I wince as she hangs up. The harsh tone with which she said my name still ringing in my ears. This isn't going to be easy, I'm going to really prove myself if I want to get into Raven's good graces again. Grabbing my keys, I head to the studio to clear my mind.

When I get there, I hook up the instrumental recordings for our Reincarnate album and head into the studio.
I take a deep breath, "Get up! You pull the trigger just for fum, forgetting I'm a loaded gun. So hate me for the things I've done, and not for what I've now become."
This song describes me perfectly right now. I want her, I need her, I love her. I'm crawling from hell because I've fallen from her grace and there is nothing I can do to make it better. Hopefully, we can work past this and try again.
"You sit upon your throne of filth, condeming what you haven't built. So hate me 'cause you're standing still, watching while I shoot to kill."
Andrew lived for her pain, breathed for her sorrow, craved her fear and submission. While he can never get out of hell, Raven and I can put the past behind us and move on.
"There's one thing you forget, you can't make me play dead. I've swallowed your bullshit, no respect, you make me fucking sick!"
If I ever meet Andrew I'm going to make him wish he was never fucking born and that's a fucking promise. I hate that bastard with all of my being. He is a low-life, spineless bastard who beat Raven up for his own goddamn pleasure and never giving a shit about her.
"A dominion of nothing is all you will reign. You laugh, but what did you create? Bitch, you give a fucking asprin a headache!" I channel all my energy and feelings into the words I committed to memory, "Crawling from hell, falling from grace. Theres nothing left to take, driving the nail through my mistakes, we can reincarnate. We lie down, we're sore and sick. We fall down, sink or swim. Underground, the remedy for who we are and what lies beneath. Reincarnate!"
I sway back and forth a bit as the song dies out and Dead As Fuck starts up with the introduction. Man, I think my songs are trying to tell me somthing.
"I put my hearse in reverse, gonna go for a drive. Up to the cemetary, get inside. I could smell her perfume, got her blood in a vial, now we're gonna dig, gonna be here for awhile, yeah!"
Raven was and still is damaged when I met her, but through End and Sophie, she was in a much better place then she was when first dealing with Andrew. From what I gathered, it had been a year since it all happened. I knew she was beautiful when she first stepped into the dressing room.
"She was cold to the bone, open wounds on her flesh, stitches are for bitches, body bag for a dress. I poured her a shot, she threw it back real quick, now she'b going to town with her lips on my boomstick!"
I can't help but laugh, that line is my absolute favourite and it takes all effort not to start laughing when I sing it.
"Bride of Frankenstein, I'll make you feel alive, oh won't you please be mine?" Rave is my Frankenstein bride, temprememtal but oh so goregous.

When I get out of the studio, I get a text from Ghost telling me to get my ass over to the wing place. I drive over there and see that the guys are already there. Ryan waves me over and pushes Ricky to make room for me.
"Hey, loser, we thought you had died or something. Well, except Ghost, but he wouldn't fucking tell us anything," Balz says.
Ryan just smiles while Ghost looks up from his wings to stick his tongue out at Josh. I roll my eyes and start to fill up my plate, licking my lips and eyeing the plate, remembering that I had skipped lunch to work in the studio. The guys are chatting and I doesn't want to try and figure out what they are saying. I look over at the table next to them where a couple sits. The woman has her lips pressed into a hard, thin line and the man's sneering, quick glances thrown at him, I'm used to it at this point, but it never makes it easier.
I just wants to scream, 'What do you want from me?'
"Chris?"
"Huh?"
"Jesus... I was asking you if you knew when John is going to call us," Ricky says.
I shake my head, "No, I don't. What do you want with him?"
Ricky makes a face, "Ew. Finish chewing next time. I wanted to ask him when we would be going on tour."
"I could've told you that," I reply, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, "Not until the summer. I know we're doing a show with Slipknot, but other then that, I don't know who's joining us."
Balz frowns, "When did you discuss this?"
"I don't remember."
"Ricky, that's my coke," Ghost tells him.
Next thing I know, I'm covered in soda and Ricky is complaining about germs. I glowers at the man before going to the bathroom.
'God damn it, he's such a fucking child,' I think to himself as I clean my face with toilet paper.
"Chris? Can I talk to you?" Balz asks, walking in.
"What is it?"
He hesitates, "How are you holding up? I don't want your rehearsed bullshit, I want the truth. I know you Chris and I know that you wouldn't have done that if she didn't mean something to you."
I nod, wiping my hands on my jeans and leaning against the sink, "She is amazing, Balz, I feel like I will never meet another girl like her." I sigh and rub my face, "I was stupid and I know this. I let my emotions get the better of me and the consequence was my dear bird flying away from me in fear and regret."
"Look, man, you have to give her time. I mean, she's been hurt badly, Chris, and you were the one person who would keep her safe, the last person who would ever consider hurting her. You're seeing her tomorrow night, right?"
I nod.
"Okay, here's what you're gonna do, you're gonna grovel at her feet and you're gonna be ashamed, humiliated, not begging, but accepting of whatever she decides. Don't be all dominant, be human and be the sweetheart I know you are. You can do this."
I nod again, agreeing with him. I was humiliated and ashamed of my behaviour, but begging would be overkill and she would look down at me. But, if I show her that I will take whatever she gives me humbly, then maybe she will consider taking me back.
"Alright, man, good."