Staying Strong (Sequel to The Two of Us)

Chapter 13

*Y/N's Pov*

I unlocked the door of our apartment and held it open for Nate carrying our baby in the blue and black baby carrier.
"I got the door." Nina said sweetly and held it for everyone to walk in.
I'm so happy my baby is here and we're all a family but i still feel drained.
"Nate."
"Yeah babe?"
"Never mind." I said forgetting what i was about to say.
"Babe what's wrong?" He asked gently.
"Oh no. Nothing. I just forgot what i was gonna say." I smiled.

I walked in front of Nate and opened the door to the nursery we were surprisingly able to finish in time.
"Look Noah this is your room." Nate said as he placed Noah in his baby carrier on the changing table.
I slowly unbuckled my baby and lifted him up gently rocking him back and forth.
I sat down on the swaying chair rocking both of us back and forth.

"Y/N you should get some rest before he wakes up to eat again." Nina said.
"I just don't want to let him go." I said and smiled down at my fragile little baby.
"He'll be fine Y/N, he's just sleeping right now. Nina's right, you need to get some sleep too. Noah will fine." Nate said.
"Yeah Benji and I are here. We can watch him while you guys take a nap or something." Bella said.
"Alright i will. But wake us up if anything happens." I worried. I know my baby is in great hands with the precense of everyone but, I just want him to feel safe in mine.
"C'mon babe. Let's get you ready for bed." Nate said.
"Okay but guys. Really. Wake me up if you need anything or if Noah needs anything."
"We will Y/N. We promise." Bella said.
I gave them a sly smile and slowly walked out of the nursery.
Nate guided me with his hands on my shoulders, i knew it was just so I wouldn't go back but when he started rubbing in circles i moaned a little. The feeling of his big hands relaxing my body was so heavenly.

"I'm gonna set us up a bubble bath so you can relax. You're so tense baby." He said as he started kissing my neck. "Relax. Okay. Everything's alright. Noah's fine." He said.
"Yeah okay."
I heard Nate turning on the water in our bathroom and went to lay on our bed.

He walked out of the bathroom shirtless, and wow his body is just...the sexiest in the world.
"You like what you see babe?"
I nodded. I didn't even realize i was starring and biting my lip.
Nate started crawling up on the bed and on top of me. He started leaving a trail of kisses up my leg and i really don't know how i was feeling about this.
"The tub is ready." He smiled.
"Okay." I stood up and went to the drawer to look for a shirt.
"What are you doi-" Nate started but i pushed him away from me.

*Nate's Pov*

I was in shock. I went to wrap my arms around Y/N and she pushed me away. I didn't know what to say or how to react in a way that wouldn't piss her off but, i don't understand why she's doing this.
"Don't touch me Nate. Please."
"Y/N what's wrong?"
"I just don't want you to touch me."
"I don't understand why. Can you tell me?" I said in the calmest tone possible. I started walking closer but she just put her hands up defensively.
"Is it okay if i just get in the bath by myself?"
"As long as you tell me what's wrong. Y/N you can't keep this from me. You know you can trust me. Its a base in our relationship."
"I know Nate. I know." She said shakily. She was starting to tear up.
"Sh sh sh. Baby it's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry." I cooed.
"No Nate it's not you. It's not your fault. I'm sorry."
"No Y/N you don't need to be sorry."
"I do. Because all you want right now is to show me love but i'm just being an ungrateful bitch-."
"Babe no. Don't say that. You're not a bitch."
"Yes i am. I am a bitch because you're just being amazing and i just pushed you away because..." She stopped and her breathing was uneven due to her hysterical crying.
"Because why baby?"

Y/N took a deep breath and started pacing back and forth across the room.
"Because I'm fat. And i got scars and my body is nasty. And you're not gonna think i'm sexy anymore." She said crying harder.
I was in shock by the words that just came out of her mouth.
"Y/N stop. Listen to me." I said holding her in place. Her eyes and cheeks got puffy, and her nose was red due to her crying. I gently moved a piece of her hair and tugged it behind her ear. "I don't care if you got scars or your body changed, you just gave birth to our beautiful son. I don't want you to be ashamed, you shouldn't. I love you for you and for your soul and your personality. Y/N i'm crazy about you, baby you know that right?" She sniffled and i wiped a couple tears away. I leaned down and kissed her softly. All i wanted to do right now was take all her pain away and make her feel better.
"I'm sorry Nate. I'm sorry."

"Y/N come here." I said and wrapped my arms around her. "You have nothing to be sorry about." I said holding her tighter. "Now will you do me a favor?" I asked looking down at her she slowly nodded. "Go get in the bubble bath, and after i'll give you a massage and we can cuddle. I want you to relax okay."
"I love you." She whispered and leaned up to kiss me.
"I love you too."

*Y/N's Pov*

I walked in the bathroom and the amazing relaxing smell of our Hawaiian Sunset bubble bath filled up the room.
I feel like shit. Nate set up this bath for us to relax and i'm being such a bitch.
I don't want to feel insecure in front of Nate but i just do. I don't want him to feel disgusted by my body right now but he did not deserve at all what i just did. He probably feels horrible too and now I'm just feeling worse.
I leaned down to the ground and cried. Nate is so amazing, he's kind, he's loyal, hardworking, I don't deserve him.

I stripped out of my clothes and put on my red silk robe. I walked towards the tub and stared at it thinking about what i had just done.
"I can't do this." I cried and went into the bedroom to see Nate in bed watching basketball. "Nate."