Heaven Help Me

Mission

We were putting our plan together to rescue Hope. We knew we'd need to be fully prepared. We will not let her be held like this. She deserves better than this, she deserves to have everything. Hell is not a place for her to stay. It's a place I should've been in. "Dean, you ok?" Roman asked.
"Yeah, just don't want Hope to suffer."
"She won't man, we won't allow it," Seth said, "we've just gotta be smart about this."
I knew that when this was over, I would have to be the one to either save or kill her. To be honest, I'm worried about her, ever since I came back to hell, I knew there was a purpose and reason as to why God didn't let me go through the Way that day. And I think that reason was, he wanted me to figure this out on my own, not with Hope around. In all honesty, I'm falling in love with her. And that scares me. The last time I was in love, I killed the woman I loved.

Deans memory
We were in Jerusalem, waiting to see why this crowd was gathering, when I saw him, he charged at me and Lily, our two children in between us. He raced towards us, we ran, I gathered my children in my arms, running as fast as I could. That's when I heard Lily scream, I turned just as he slit her throat, "No," I screamed, setting my children down, "Run," I yelled at them, watching them run right in the other three men. "Hello Dean, my, my, what a thing we have here," Bray said, cradling Lily's head.
"You son of a bitch," I yelled.
"You should've known we'd kill all of you tonight, your little ones will always blame you as will Lily, because it's your fault that we came, but more importantly, it's her fault, oh you don't know who she is do you? You'll meet her soon enough, because where you are going, she reigns there."
"You're out of your damn mind. I'm not going there."
I charged at him, knocking him backwards, hitting him, until someone yanked me off of him, I went to swing at him, but he said, "my name is Gabriel, you must be Dean, I have been sent for you."
"What the hell happened to Wyatt?" I asked him, looking around seeing no one.
"He's gone from here, you will understand soon enough."
"Where are we going?"
"Hell," he said, smiling.
She reigns there.