My Life as Annabeth

Chapter 22

To Lily, Nathan's absence meant that we had to practice day and night what I was actually going to say to him. So far we couldn't find a way for me to say that I didn't love him without me sounding like a total asswipe.

I've texted Nathan but our conversation always seemed to go no where, him trying to keep up a conversation with me while I wastrying desperately to avoid it.

"This is ridiculous there's no way that I would be able to say it without sounding like a total bitch." I kick the punching bag. We've been at this for hours, arguing back and fourth about why I couldn't just say the words.

"And that's why we're trying to come up with the right words." I move on to jump rope so I could face Lily better. "Now let's get down to the root of the problem." She folds her feet under her staring at me earnestly.

"We have? I don't love him." She rolls her eyes. "I meant the problem that makes you not love him even though he's such a great guy for you!" I stare at her slowly shaking my head no. She sighs, "You ate chocolate chip pancakes today which you never make by the way, but when you realized what it was you looked as if you were going to be sick. Not to mention the fact you poured yourself milk in one cup and orange juice in the other and didn't even bother drinking it! That's weird! And do not dare tell me that it's not! So I want to know what's really going on."

I shake my head, "I got full. I couldn't eat or drink anymore is that a crime?" She stares at me a while longer before visibly giving up.

"He's coming back in what three days?" I nod my head. "Okay then can we at least make a plan?"

I grumble throwing down the rope like a toddler. I couldn't do this anymore I was tired of it all. Why do we have to have feelings? It was overrated and man kind would be better off without them. "I don't want to have a plan Lily I just want things to go back to normal before the whole L word situation came up. Is that too much to ask?"

"Your asking the wrong person." After a pause she stands up. "You love him yet-"

"I never said that!" In a much quieter voice this time, I repeat the same thing. "I never said that. I told you that I don't. I don't love him so can we just drop it?"

___

Three days later we had a plan.

It was foolish of me to think that even for a nanosecond, Lily, by any means would let this go because she didn't and wouldn't. We still haven't actually figured out what I would say but that didn't matter. Today was the day Nathan arrives, he told me he wasn't going to be able to see me today because he had pretty bad jet lag and was gonna go to sleep as soon as he gets home. But we did end up FaceTiming all his absence because he said he wasn't going to forget about the promise he had made to me. Although I wish he had...

"So let's go over the plan." I roll my eyes. We already had gone over the plan for like the billionth time already.

I was to get dropped off by Lily at his house and sneak into the backyard and knock on his bedroom door and tell him how I felt. It wouldn't be what he was looking for but it was the honest truth.

I check my phone. Nathan has left me messages saying he was already back in town, and another saying he was unpacking, and then another saying he only unpacked one thing because he was too tired so now he's going to catch some much needed sleep.

"We're clear." Lily squeals, immediately rushing to her keys, "I'll wait for you in the car!" And just like that she was out the door.

I sigh, was I really going to tell Nathan that I didn't love him? What if that's the last straw for him?