My Life as Annabeth

Chapter 11

I had the dream. It's not like any other dream: like a clown chasing you down an endless hallway with locked doors, or the grudge chasing after you in an insane asylum... You know pleasant dreams like that.

No, this dream was never like any other dream. It wasn't a fantasy, or a nightmare... Although it sometimes felt like it is. No this dream wasn't like any other dream. It was a memory.

I didn't think I would have it but then again when are you ever in control of what you dream? You fall into a deep slumber and let you're mind explore all the things you're mind doesn't explore when you're awake. It chooses a door and opens it for the night and let's you explore it then abruptly shuts it when you wake up, never really letting you remember the vivid details.

But this dream... I always remembered everything about it... I lived through it once and now every other night when I have the dream.

This time I didn't expect it. I mean I was happy going to bed after meeting Nathan's family. But it didn't stop me from having it. I was an idiot for thinking my conscious well let me still be happy for once going to bed but it didn't. I didn't expect it but maybe that's why I should have... It always does when I least expect it.

I was there again and I was a mess of emotions: I was angry, confused and scared out of my mind.

I was bleeding. Although I could barely feel the warmth of the blood because I was so cold. It was like I was in a mountain top with a bikini on and there was a full on blizzard outside.

I had a decision to make and I was running out of time. I knew what I had to do... What I wanted to do... What I wish I was strong enough to do. The clock was ticking. The water. It was everywhere.

I woke up gasping, my sweat soaked the sheets. I looked around my room until my eyes landed on the picture. Tears willed up in my eyes that I think for a second I might actually be sick.

I took deep breaths. I wasn't going to be weak anymore, I promised that to myself and I won't break it.

I spent the rest of the night trying to go back to sleep but every time I closed my eyes, I was there and I was so cold and scared. Soon I gave up on sleep altogether and the next thing I know I was in the garage with my earphones on so I wouldn't wake up my dad or the neighbors. Not that they'll call the cops anyways.

I fell into routine. The same routine I always had when I couldn't go back sleep or I was angry. I was already in my black workout shorts and a tank top, so all I needed to do was put on my black workout gloves and re-adjust my ponytail.

I started on the jump rope first to warm up. Already my thoughts drifted back to that night. I can't shake it.

It happened a long time ago I needed to move on with my life. But yet I can't run from my past as much as I would want to, every turn I made, every step I took, every mistake I made, someone would be there. They would see me and think of a monster.

I throw the rope across the room and go to the punching bag instead. My thoughts keep drifting to that night. It changed everything and now I can't live a day of my life without being watched.

Don't other people have lives! Why can't I just live my own life without constantly being watched? God if I was a celebrity I would have gone out of my mind already. Hell I'm already insane.

How would Nathan react if he found out? What would I say? He would look at me like every one else in this god forsaken town. He can't find out. But he will. His family even heard stories so obviously he had to have too. I just can't figure out why he's staying.

I'm soon going back and fourth between punching and kicking.

It's all so frustrating I just want it to stop already. I'm so tired of it. Of everything. But Nathan, I can never get tired of him.