Maybe...?

EPILOGUE (II)

It's amazing how something can end this swiftly. I feel  my heart pounding very fast, I almost feel it outside of my body. I turn around as my left cheek touches the wet pillow I have just covered of tears. I've been crying like a baby since my fight with Lucas. Why it is so complicated? Why can't we be together peacefully? I've discovered that every couple has it difficulties, but our difficulties happen too often, and I'm sorry, but I'm tired... Yeah, I finally said it, I'm tired. I extend my right hand as the moon lits it with its light. I imagine his hand fitting perfectly into mine, his eyes looking at me directly, making me nervous, and his hugs... those hugs that keep reminding me that life's worth it. And then, I start sobbing again.
Suddenly I hear my phone ringing. I snort.
I hardly grab it from the night desk. The light of the screen blinds me but I can see that it's a message from Julie. I open it, don't knowing why is she awake at 2:00 A.M. At least I have a reason, I'm heartbroken.
J: Hey Lea, hurry up and like my instagram last pic!
I roll my eyes.
She hasn't talked to me for three days and all she tells me now is to like her pic in a social media.
I open instagram and I roll pictures until I see hers.
And without noticing it, I smile.
In the photo she's laughing happily while CHARLES kisses her cheek. They're hanging out for almost two years, after Julie's 8-years-crush-on-him.
They seem like they're having the perfect relationship, only smiles, laughs, love... I wish Lucas and I could have that.
L: Done.
J: What the heck you think you doing girl?!?
L: What?
J: You left it with Lucas!
L: How...? Who told you?
J: Lucas hung out with Charles tonight. He was all mad.
L: Whatever
J: I know you don't want him to go Lea, just beg him to stay.
L: You really think I'll do that?
J: No

I breathe deeply.

J: But that's what you need to do when you're in a relationship. You need to stip being so proud of yourself and tell what you feel.

Maybe she's right.

L: Even If I stop being proud of myself, I'll turn into a selfish monster who doesn't let his bf study in a better university.
J: That's the thing, let him have choices. If he really appreaciates and cares about your future together, he won't go.

Maybe that's why I don't neg him to stay, I don't do it because I'm afraid that he will go away anyways. In that case, my pride would be really wounded.

J: Fix it Lea.

I swallow harshly.

L: I don't want him to leave me behind.
J: His flight is tomorrow morning, I believe in you two, bring him back.

Those last words surround my mind until I close my eyes and fall sleep all of a sudden.

                        ****

I'm driving my black second-hand car directly to the airport. I haven't had breakfast, all I've done is to eat my nails and think of a good reason to beg him to stay.
I'm sweating because I'm scared that he will go up in the airplane and that I will be late.
Luckily this morning it's not full of cars on the road, so I can drive faster. Abruptly I see that there is a taxi beside, and blinking twice, I observe that inside there is a boy with black headphones.
I shrug.
Lucas.
It's Lucas.
I drive faster and faster, I don't think it too much, I haven't got time to do it. When I watch that I'm far enough from the taxi, I turn around the car, laying it, stopping the taxi.
As I get down of the car, I go towards that blonde boy with blue eyes who stole my heart once and keeps doing it.
He gets out of the taxi too, bewildered, shocked as he sees me.
"What the hell Lea?" He utters.
I stare at him.
He is so handsome and nice.
I can not believe I was going to let him go without even try it.
He is all my life.
"Please, don't go." I close my eyes as I pronounce these words.
His mad face slowly turns into a smiley one.
I look down.
I do not have any idea of what he is going to do.
"It was so complicated to say it?" He lifts his sleeves up.
I do not respond, blushing.
"By the way... I forgot to give you something."
Maybe he is going to give me our last gift.

BRAIN: It would be the most logicall thing.
HEART: NO. HE WON'T GO.

He introduces his hand in his ripped jeans pocket, and he takes out a printed paper.
His deep blue eyes look at me.
"Sorry Lea I'm going to New York."
And unfortunately I feel how the weight of the entire world falls on my body.
He is going away.
I have lost him already.
And I see him grinning.
Okay, thanks dude, you do not need to be so happy in our break up.
I want to run away, but my feet stuck on the floor.
"Sorry Lea, I am going to New York..." He takes my hand, giving me the printed paper. "I'm going to New York with you"