Maybe...?

CHAPTER 2

I go downstairs, wearing a red-wine dress and my black Vans.
I feel good today, apart from the nightmare, I think that I'll pass these 24 hours like no one else.

"Hi grandma." I kiss her forehead.

"Hello sweetheart." She hugs me.

I look around. "And my breakfast?" I ask puzzled.

"What breakfast?" She asks even more bewildered.

"The one you said you had prepared for me..." I answer frowning.

" When did I say that?" she stands there, knowing nothing.

I swallow hard, trying to not panic.
Did she really forget that?
It had happened only 20 minutes ago...

I look up to the clock that is on the wall, up from the fridge, and I realize that is 7:47 and that the bus is here at 7:50.

So the thing is that I only have 3 minutes.

I intend to calm myself, but that would take me at least one minute so I tear the thought apart.
I go to the living room and I catch my blue school bag and then I turn back to where my grandma is.

"Grandma, forget what I said before, don't worry, okay?" I take a toast from the table. "I have to go, see you later..."

"Forget what?" "Well, have a good time my sweetie"

I close my eyes half my way and I try to think that everything is a joke.
She really remembers.
It's just that she likes kidding me.

I run across the green grass that creates my garden and I take the bus.
There's so many people that I can't even breathe this horrible reek of the bus.

I'm looking for a place to sit, but I can't find any.

Well, yes there is one.

But guess.

Aiden is there, beside.

I look around me again and there's still not a single empty spot.
He is looking through the window so I suppose he won't mind my company.

I take the place and I gulp down.

I try to not look at him but, oh my goodness, he looks so fine today...
He's wearing a blue sweater, some jeans and a pair of black All Stars.
His hair is messy, but it's always like that so I don't really care.
He smells like the ocean... yeah, I'm a bit weird, but the ocean smells really well If you doubted.
He got his headphones on so I deduce he's listening to music.
He moves his head while his feet follow it.

This is the guy I'm kind of in love with.

There's like half an hour of travel left so I take a book from inside my bag.

"To Kill a Mockingbird"

I am at the beginning and I'm not understanding everything but it's for the language class so I have to make an effort.
I open it at the page 41 and I start to read.

While Jem and Dill are dealing with a tyre, I notice that someone is looking directly at me.

I get nervous, so I start to look beside me slowly.
And yes, his big brown eyes are directly staring at me while I'm reading.

"I was just... Well, I have to read that book too." He is talking to ME.

"Oh..." I smile and I feel red cheeks on my face.

I know it silly boy, we are in the same class.

"It is good...?" He gets rid of his headphones.

"Kinda." I feel butterflies flying in my stomach.

"I don't have it so... you think I could borrow it from you when you finish it? He smiles AT ME.

"Yeah, sure."

I reckon the conversation is finished...

"You are Eleanor, right?" He continues.

"Yep, and you are Aiden." I answer, trying not to look excited about the fact that he remembers my name.

"Good to know that you still remember me." His smile is just too sweet, it kills me.

How could I ever forget you?

"Yeah, we were on the same sport team." I remind him.

"You were the best runner." He tells me.

"Thanks."

I don't know why but there's a part when I destroy it all.
When I tear my kind face apart and let my weird or unsociable face appear.

And this is the moment.

"By the way, I like your Vans."

And I like you. Really, really, really like you.

"Way better than All Stars, right?" I smile.

"Well, that needs a long talk."

I only want to say something to him.
Something I have wanted to tell him long time ago.

"I miss you." I say out loud.

"What?"

"Nothing... I'm just... going to keep reading."

I am the silliest girl EVER.

I FEEL SHAME ALL AROUND ME.