as sweet as CAKE - kendal- cara-

ruined meditation and Burberry

Kendall's pov-
4 days of this week down quick summary
day 2
I went to three casting calls and two photo shoots then went to lunch with Gigi and Justin then worked out all day I thought about cara and passive aggressively messed with Kylie

day 3
slept in ,hung out for a while helped Khole and kourtny with there dash store went to more casting calls for photo shoots then went out with Justin Selena and hailiee  kinda starting to miss cara randomly not just when I'm alone
and I passive aggressively messed with Kylie she of course returned every once of it

I will admit even though I had my amazing friends I still felt a bit alone

cara practically hated me
Kylie shut me out
my parents are too busy with KUWTK
Gigi is swept up with Cody and getting ready for fashion week

I just felt like I was just floating like I couldn't go left or right and I knew it was because i did what I always do..
I closed people out
I was closing out cara by pretending the fact that she was no longer her self with me didn't break my heart

like the fact that she wasn't a sweet funny charismatic person toward me didn't make me feel direction less and want to cry and most-okay all times I had cried despite my efforts not to . and as weak and baby like as it sounds it happens a lot I cried a lot these days and it was random

I was listening to break up songs  and going out at night more getting drunk with my friends talking to guys to make cara jealousy I never went home with them though

me and Justin pretended to hook up when in reality he just slept over it was all just to mess with the public and secretly to mess with cars but no one but she knew that

right now I was headed to a Balmain shoot mixed with a Burberry with a hang over from last night
" hey where is the shoot?" Justin asked

he had some meetings here and needed to talk to Balmain so we went together

we walked up to the correct floor of the building we walked in

it was a huge room like the Calvin shoot there were back drops with cameras and lights set up on two walks them vanities with hair and makeup being done then a separate area for changing it was busy it was filled with model photographers hair and make up people running around with music playing loud

I found Balmain " Justin!!!" he cheers they talked he hugged me " babe I need you to go get to work here are your stations go kill it" Balmain said giving me a post it note with my stations we laughed

i was running around like a mad man around the shoot Burberry was also there

I was done with Balmain part of the shoot I went over to Chris Burberry he seemed annoyed at a camera fitting with it as a group of models stood on the back drop
I walked up chuckling " okay there Chris" I said " this camera-ahhhh" he groaned I laughed " let me see" I said

I clicked in the zoom to the camera I pointed it at the models looking through the camera

..

cara was one of the models in  a trench coat in the bunch of 4
I froze she was staring into the camera with her A game I nervously pushed the camera into his stomach lightly as I gave it to him " I-it um... it works" I said  I could feel Cara's glare burn into me he chuckled he was snapping them as he posed " hey Kendal I was thinking" he said I cringed mentally knowing what he was going to say he always had a bit of a crush on me

" I know you said you wanted to keep things professional between the two of us" he said looking into the camera still snapping pictures I crossed my arms I was about to intervene but  then I remembered cara was here and this would send her over the edgy " but I'm ignoring your wishes and asking you out for clubbing" he said if o ever said Cara's glare burned then if looks could kill I would be dead " clubbing ?" I asked " your so American!" he said laughing " going to a club-drinks" he said aka one night stand but I wouldn't sleep with him I would go to make cara jealous   " sounds fun" I said " I thought you would say that your quit the party girl" he says looking up at me smirking from his kneeling position

I was walking into a changing room I herd the thump of the music but no music in here no one was in here .. weird

I got dressed in My normal cloths
some one walked in I ignored it and buttoned up the shirt

" clubbing" a angery British voice said

cara

I looked at her through the mirror I tried my best to not show how pathetically sadI had been and nervousness I was now I was putting on ear rings " yeah" I said

" Kendal he just wants to fuck you and leave!!" she yelled spilling over with anger I didn't let her volume tone of voice or attitude visibly effect me .. on the inside it was heart breaking that she was this upset and unhappy with me
" I know that" I said simply she scuffed "and-and your okay with that?! Is that what your doing with Justin!!!" she yelled frustrated
" it's all fun" I shrugged knowing I was making her fuming mad she scuffed " fun" she said to herself " why do you care -your sleeping with girl after girl?!" I says loudly but not yelling
I knew she would yell again she was famous for her fiery temper that intimidated every one but I knew her sweet side Sophia didn't bother me like it did others

" why do you care cara-why. why dose cara delevigne care ?!" I said

she stood there for a second most likely controlling the urged to go off on me

" beacuse I'm worried ken ... " she said throwing her hands to her sides in defeat throwing me off she didn't yell like I expected my heart softened

" your-your getting drunk every night spotted with guy after guy... why are you going out getting drunk I'm worried -why your with Justin" she said

then my heart filled with anger I scuffed " you can't do that" I spat quietly she looked surprised by my tone
" can't do what" she said quietly
" you can't barge in saying how you care and are worried!!" I says almost yelling
" you don't have the right to do this then come back and act like you care and are worried!!" I practically yelled

" because if you did care and if you were worried you wouldn't have left me knowing the shit that's going on right now !!!" I yelled

" knowing Harry is trying to ruin me-knowing my own sister hates me right know. knowing I can't turn to gigi because if stupid Cody! knowing that my parents basically don't care unless there is money is in it.!!" I kinda yelled but I was getting chocked up a year was going down my cheek

" you left.. knowing everything " I practically whispered shaking my head looking at the floor

I looked back up at her for once the amazingly confident seemingly emotionally bullet proof cara delevigne didn't look so bullet proof she looked sad lonely vulnerable and teary eyed

her beautiful blue eyes were glossy her eye brows furrowed with sadness

" I'm-I'm.. so sorry Kenny " she says trying not to cry because she held the royal name delevigne

I couldn't help my self

I hugged her tightly she was there for me when I cried maybe not recently but she needed me now so it was my turn

it felt so amazing the warmth fire and electricity she hugged back just as tight

the brave un- touchable model was crying in my arms I kissed her head

"breath" I whispered..