Awkward (The Meaning Series)

Chapter 17

A week has passed since it happened. I still remember the tough parts. I remember her mom, on the floor, crying. I turn around seeing Brian catching up to me, before he could say a word he say May and his jaws just dropped. I look at the hallways and all the nurses were pushing random peoples just to get to here. I turn back at May, which I could barely see, surrounded by doctors trying to.. Actually I don't know what they were doing. I couldn't see because they were surrounded by nurses. I stood there, frozen. Couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't breath. I also remember the next day, sitting right next to May, holding her hand. We were alone, her mom went to go get May pudding. I even remember our conversation, I'll never forget it. It started off with me saying "Are you sure you're okay? I can get you.."
"No it's fine!" May laughed, "You don't have to be worried about me. I'll be fine" she held my hand.
I tried holding back a tear, "May I can't stop worrying about you. Especially what happened yesterday.."
"I know I know" she interrupted. "But my heart stopped for only 2 seconds, I'm fine now."
Again, I tried holding back the tears. "You don't understand! When I heard that flatline.."
May lifted my hands. "You know I would never leave you.."
I stood up and let go of her hands. "If you didn't want to leave me then why did you try to attempt suicide.."

Let's skip the rest of this memory...

Now let's go to reality, the present, right now. Like I said before, a week has passed since I heard the flatline sound. I think about May 24/7 but I know she's not going to be here. She's in a mental hospital right now..
"Hey are you.." A random person asked.
I walked right passed them. I knew the whole school knew about May because it was on the news. But I didn't want to talk about it. It was hard though because everytime I walk pass the halls, I see people staring at me.
As I try to get to the office for office aid, I see Mason leaning back against the wall. "Hey, how are you?"
I looked at him. "I guess I'm fine" I said. I bowed my head so he couldn't see my eyes turning to water.
He pulled my face up, "I'm always here for you" and then he did the best thing a guy could do. He kissed me. It was a long hot kiss that I didn't want to stop. But we stopped.
I looked at him with love, I just wanted to be with him forever, but we walked into the office and started to settle.
The rest of the day of school was pretty normal I guess. Some people did make some remarks, but it was okay. I felt really sorry for Rick, he kept asking me questions and such. I could tell he was really worried about her and wanted to be with her so badly.
As I was about to exit the schools to go to my school bus, I see Madison by my bus. She turned and saw me, she smirked. "Hello.." She said in a sarcastic voice.
Honestly, I'm so done with her. I didn't want to deal with her bullshit and So I just tried to push her aside and tried to enter into my bus. As I climb up Into the bus she said "you coming to the dance in two days?"
I turned to see her sassy face. I gave her a look and said "You'll see." And then I went on the bus.
It was just a normal day at home, parents fighting and stressful homework.
I went to bed around 10 o clock but there was a problem. I couldn't go to sleep, instead I just kept thinking about that night we had a talk..

"If you didn't want to leave me, then why did you try to attempt suicide?!" I said abruptly.
"It's complicated and I don't feel ready to talk about it.."
I folded my arms, tearing up. "You were this close to leaving me.."
"I know, Jessica. Please just.."
"Stop! You always say you know but you don't! You don't know how I felt when I heard that flatline, like oh my gosh May for hell's sake I was scared half to death!"
May looked really sad, she put her head down. "I'm.. I'm sorry.. I really.. Really am.." She started crying.
I started to walk closer to May. " why didn't you tell me, I'm your best friend.."
"I honestly don't know" May sobbed. "I just don't feel right in this world.."
"Well tell me when you do know, because I can't stand my best friend almost being gone from this world.." I was about to step out of the room..
"Wait!" May yelled. I turned around. "I know you saw them" May sadly said. "You saw the knives, glass.."
"Yeah I know. You don't have to continue that list.." I said uncomfortably.
"I'm.. Sorry.." May tried to say.
"Yeah well, I love you. But I need time.. I'll visit you sometime this week.." Then I left.