Disguise♔ z.m

Seventeen

"Will you stay?" He asks weakly.

At that moment, I turn to face him, still laying on my side, watching the light brunette exhale and inhale at a steady pace. My heart churns like a washing machine every time I try uttering an answer. It was impossible to say something. The only thing I could hear was my heart pump like engines in a car.

Do I stay? After losing my virginity with someone I didn't know? Am I now to leave and pretend this didn't happen? I might not remember every little detail of yesterday, but I do remember brief moments; those moments that sobered me up.

Do I stay? This has been the second hardest thing for me to answer after deciding whether keeping my pleated skirts everyone disliked, will be right; not like I got rid of them anyway.

"I'll stay." The words run out of my mouth. He slowly shows a smile and places his hand over my arm, rubbing. Sun light comes creeping in from the outlines of Liam's shape, illuminating the darkest shades of his skin. His eyes were not as playful as they were yesterday. Today, they were warm. A warmness I never felt. A few seconds ago, I could have sworn I felt scared, but right now, just by looking into his eyes, I know everything will be alright. I can't imagine how it would be to get out of this bed. First, I'm totally naked underneath these sheets. Second, he is totally naked underneath these sheets. Third, I keep on thinking what might happen after this? Would we have our breakfast together? Would he let me shower after or before him? Would I leave his home and resume my routine?

"You think too much." He says softly, the hand that was rubbing my arm, is now easily stroking my cheeks that was facing skyward.

"How do you know that?" My eyes fell to the shape of his lips, that were so plump.

"I can see it through your eyes, Nora." The clarity of his words had my heart twist even further.

I immediately look away to his chest, avoiding his intense gaze.

"Look at me." His tone becomes more serious.

I look up at him, not having any facial expression whatsoever.

"What are you thinking about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I really want to know how you feel.."

"I feel-" what do I say? Do I tell him I feel like crying away my day? Do I tell him about how tired I am of always drifting my thoughts to Zayn?

"Confused."

"Why is that?"

"What do we do from now? Do we pretend nothing happened?" My voice had rose in several octaves. He must have sensed how flustered I was because he had put a halt to stroking my cheek.

"Do you want to pretend nothing happened?" He asks, lower than usual. It is really funny how we are having such a serious conversation with nothing under. I am clasping to the sheets with my dear life, whilst Liam does not even care whether the world sees him. Wait, why am I thinking of that?

"Do you?" I ask him." I mean, if you do, I totally understa-"

"I don't." He interrupts me.

Did he just-

"I don't." He repeats." I don't want to pretend nothing happened."

Jesus, take the wheel. It's like I am in a car, speeding to a location that is still anonymous. I feel like a rocket that is about to explode with emotions. I mean, Liam, the guy who I fully knew would decline getting in bed with me, was now saying he wanted more out of us.

"It's your turn to answer. Do you want to pretend nothing happened?"

"I don't." Our smile had rose simultaneously. I could identify my reflection form in his irises. I could see the way my cheeks reddened once we made a decision.