Disguise♔ z.m

Twenty Three

"Who's Liam?"

This is where I get to decide whether Liam is going to be the constant in my life; it's just that I didn't expect my decision to be this soon. Even if I do deny Liam being my boyfriend, Marcel would still find out. When he finds out, it won't only hurt him for the reason I was with someone else, but that I was leading him on. If I do tell him who Liam is, he might be hurting for a while, but isn't that better than postponing the truth and sugar coating everything just to make him feel happy for a moment? But admitting to the fact that Liam is now mine, would mean I am ready to get over those sleepless nights I had over Zayn. It would mean I am mentally and physically ready to be just Liam's.

"It's not like he's your boyfriend or anything," he says with a hint of humour.

"He actually is," my answer could be barely heard, but Marcel's sudden change of lips had signaled me that my words were loud enough to shatter his world. His brows lowered, and so did his shoulders. I feel so guilty. I never meant to hurt him. I never meant to make him feel like the second best, but Liam had me first, technically. If Marcel just spoke up earlier, he might have had me. That's the key word, might.

"Oh," He answers monotonously.

"Yeah.." I could feel the intensity of awkwardness build between our sides that were eventually separating as we got closer to Harvey's.

There are so many things I wish I could tell Marcel, but the focus he has on the tip of his shoes, got me doubting myself. Not only have I lost my potential male best friend, but a humble human being who only wanted to feel among.

When we walk through the doors, I see Marcel quicken his pace and stroll past the front desk without signing. Monica did not dare question his behavior, but instinct had got her knowing all that has happened. Individually signing, I silently greet Monica, whose eyes were rolling at me. On the second thought, she has no idea what happened. She does not know how bad it feels to be me, right now. It wasn't delightful either when Zayn got it on with Elle, yet, I stayed strong. Why does your world revolve only around you? 

A humongous amount of people walk into the elevator, and the day I decided to feel just alone, that's when the whole world decides to join you. Squeezing and holding in my breathe, I stand in the mist of people, whose impatience and nervousness got the best of them. Majority were males, most that I haven't seen, but the lack of individuality did not make me decipher between their same short buzz cut hairstyle and smart suit. I was the only one wearing a dress, anyway. How could the morning, that started of so bright and light, turn to a bunch of dark clouds?

I really didn't mean to hurt Marcel.

We are supposed to be taking this as mature adults. I was supposed to tell him my straight interests that held him over a hook for long. The elevator stops at different floors, letting the people I hoped never to see again, leave. After a few minutes, I finally arrive to the twentieth floor, knowing I won't see Veronica, as usual.

To my surprise, I do see her sitting there. She raises her head and gently waves a hello to me. Not speaking, I nod, waltzing to my desk, and dropping the suitcase by to the edge of the abdomen to feet desk.

"What's wrong? You're usually a morning person," She mocks me from behind her monitor. I briefly notice her wearing a light pink chiffon shirt with a dark brown pencil skirt, but decide not to compliment her change of clothes.

"I am usually a morning person," I use the same mocking tone," but today, I am not."

"And does that have anything to do with Zayn? He is majority of the reasons why you're ever not in the mood."