I see lights coming straight to into the car, I'm yelling for Audrey and Eliot to get out, but they can't hear me, I yell even louder. The lights get closer and closer. I see the truck crash into the side of Eliot's 1990 corvette, that he saved up for since he was ten. The truck crash into the car so fast that if you would have blinked you would have missed it. I scream out for Eliot, the car flips over after the truck hits the driver's side. Audrey is in the passenger side, she wasn't wearing her seat belt. she hits the window so hard that she fractured her skull. I scream as loud as I can for someone to help them. Please someone just save them.
Raven comes rushing into the room and wakes me up. "Blair, stop! It's just a dream, you're safe!" She is rocking me back in forth in her arms. I hear her heart beating so fast, I put my hand over my chest and it feels like my heart is going to beat out of my chest. She tells me to breath in and out. The babies are kicking so fast that it hurts. I burst out into tears and plead,
"Why did this have to happen to them? Why did they have to die? It's not fair Raven, why did they have to die like that? Why?"
She brings me some cold fresh ice water, I drink it slowly and gasp for air. She continues to rock me back and forth and I hear her swallowing back tears.
"I don't know honey, but it's not your fault! I promise it's not your fault."
My breathing begins so slow down. I close my eyes while placing my hand on my forehead wiping away the cold sweat that perspired in my sleep. Raven looks down at me and says with the most concerning tone.
"Feel any better? Do you think that you can go back to sleep? I can stay and lay down with you for a bit if you want me too."
I slightly shake my head yes as I move over to make room for her. She takes my glass from my shaking hand and sets it down on the night stand. I place my head on her lap and she begins to untangle my hair with her long soft fingers.
"Everything is going to be ok, you know that they are in a much happier place. I know that it hurts now but in due time they will be a happy memory that you will tell your kids about."
I nod my head quickly and touch the top of my belly with one hand and the bottom of my belly with the other. I have one tear come out the side of my eye then next thing I know it turns into a stream of tears. I quickly cry myself back to sleep.
The next morning, I feel the sun trying to shine through the curtains and onto my face. I turn over to see that Raven is still in the same spot that she was in when I last saw her last night. Her head is against the wall and her back is on the headboard. I have my head in her lap, while her hand is on my head. I try to quietly sit up and put her in a more comfortable, lying down, position, I close the curtains to ensure that she gets unbothered rest. I quietly shut the door behind me as I head to the kitchen, with my journal and computer in hand. I grab a glass from the cabinet and some apple juice from the fridge that Raven keeps just in case I come over.
I pulled the chair out from underneath the table and opened my computer to log on to my I.M account. I see that Leon messaged me last night asking what I was up to. I had so much on my mind that I hadn't thought to check in with him before I went to sleep. Before I respond I opened my old leathery journal and began to write.
Dear love bugs,
I had the most terrible dream about you guys by far. It was awful. I wish that I never saw the crash, because if I hadn't it wouldn't be the last memory that I have of my best friends. My flesh and blood, my brother and sister. Why did you have to go like that? That's not how you should have died. You should have died in your warm bed when you were old, wrinkly and gray. Not when you were a fun vibrant, funny, young man and woman. I can't tell you guys how much I miss you. Please come back just for me, or just to say good bye. If I would have known that was the last time that I would have seen you, I would have done things so differently. Just come back to me, come back please. I beg you.
Always and forever, Number 3
After writing to Audrey and Eliot I got up to put some bacon in the frying pan. I thought that since I scared Raven with my nightmare that the least that I could do was make her some breakfast. Plus, I was starving, and I really was in the mood for bacon. Once I took the bacon out of the fridge and into the pan I sat back down to write Leon. I knew that he would have been upset if I hadn't I.M him back at all.
Blair33AE
Hey you. Any word on the job and where you are going to live once you get here, to the states?
Leon32
Hey, glad to finally hear from you! Nope not yet but they should be letting me know ASAP. I am crazy excited. How are things with you?
Blair33AE
You know my crazy life things could always be better. Still having those crazy nightmares about Audrey and Eliot. This one was way scarier than the ones before.
Leon32
I am so sorry to hear that. I am sure that things will get better once the babies are born. Are you excited for their arrival? Have you thought of any names yet?
Blair33AE
No names yet but I have some in mind. I think that I should maybe run them by Ronnie before I name them.
Leon32
What do you mean, I thought that you said that he didn't want anything to do with you or the babies? Did something happen between you two?
Blair33AE
I guess you could say that something happens. More like something ended. I told him that he could be in the baby's life but not mine, and that it would be a full-time job. You know that kinda thing.
Leon 33
I just don't want to see you getting hurt again. I really mean that. I am just saying that you deserve more but I am proud of you for standing up too him. I know that was not easy for you.
Blair33AE
Thanks for looking out for me Leon. I have got to go but thanks for the talk. I will talk to you tonight before bed, there is still so more that I need to tell and ask you about. P.S let me know what happens with the job and location as soon as you know something.
I knew that Raven would be up soon, also I had to check on the bacon, Raven always says that I overcook everything that I try to make. I am honestly and truly thankful to have Raven in my life and I just know in my heart that she will be the best Godmother and Aunt that she can be.
