Adopted by Phan-a Dan and Phil Phanfic

Chapter nineteen -Hot chocolate

~Alana's pov~
I avoided Linkas more than usual after that. I finished the project on my own and turned it in with both our names. After settling in with Dan and Phil, every day was just going through the motions, like it always is after you live somewhere long enough. At school, most people knew me as either, 'The girl who isn't afraid of Lucas' or 'Dan and Phil's daughter', or, similar to that last, 'The girl with two faggots for parents'. The first could be positive or negative, the second usually positive, but the last one got me the most. The day after I turned in the paper, I turned to walk into Mrs. Smiths class, but she stopped me. "Ms. Howell-Lester? I would like to see you after class please." I nodded, but internally I was sighing. Phil was going to walk with me to see Nellie after school, and History was my last class today. Shit. Hopefully it didn't take too long.

After class, I shoved my stuff in my bag and slung it over my shoulder, walking toward Mrs. Smiths desk. "Ah yes, you two." Two? I turned behind me, to find Linkas, standing in his normal position, arms folded, supposed to be intimidating. It wasn't to me though, I knew some things about him that I'm positive he would kill me for if I told anyone. Mrs. Smith jerked me out of my thoughts, "I received two projects from you. You were aware this is a group project?" I wasn't sure what to do. Had Linkas also turned in the work? I couldn't believe I didn't check with him first. I just nodded sheepishly and let her talk at us. Linkas, on the other hand, was muttering under his breath the while time. When Mrs. Smith was finally done yammering, she let us go. I ran out into the hall, trying to text Phil while I made my way down the stairs. "Wait!" His voice cut through the silence. I whirled around.

"I'm just, like sorry and shit, or whatever."

"Wow. You're really good at apologies." I said dryly.

"I know, I'm not exactly used to it. But I'm sorry, like about the... general me-ness of me. Like, mean, I don't know why I kissed you, and um... yeah. Sorry about your parents, but at least you have some."

"I didn't for about a year."

"I know. I'm fucking sorry."

"You've said. And I'm kinda sorry too, I probably should have checked with you about the project."

"Nah, it was my fault."

"Whatever you say." I fidgeted with my hands, something I tended to do in awkward situations or when I was stressed. "Erm... listen, I have to go but, do you want to, like, maybe, start over? I guess not completely because you hate everyone, but like, as acquaintances?"

"First of all, I don't hate everyone, they're just all annoying. Second, yeah sure."

"Okay then. Cool. I have to go meet Phil, but I'll see you tomorrow?"
I turned without waiting for an answer, and took the stairs two at a time, unknowingly with LInkas on my heels. When I got to the bottom, "Ouch! What the fu-" He had accidentally (or I hope accidentally) jumped off the bottom step on to my heel. He shrugged, "I guess we're prone to stair related awkward situations." "Guess so!" We walked outside, and I immediately saw Phil standing by the gate. "Bye" Linkas called behind me, and I waved without looking.

"Hey Lana! How was school?"

I smiled. "Hey Papa. It sucked, like usual." We started walking towards the park, because there was a small cafe near it. "If I was Dan, I would agree with you, but school doesn't have to suck. It only sucks because you decided it sucks." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever. So, Nellie said she'd be there at 3:45?" "I think so. She's your friend." I was right, Nellie did say 3:45, because when we got there at 3:50ish, she was there. I slid into the chair across from her and put my bag down. "I'll just be at home, okay? Text me if you get lost!" Phil left.

"Long time no see!" I hugged Nellie across the table, and she laughed. "You're getting your hair on my scone!" I picked up said scone, "Well I guess I have to eat it then." She snatches it away from me, then breaks off a small piece. "Mmm, lemon-poppyseed!" We joke for a while, talking about random stuff, and a waitress comes to take my order. "I'll have a hot chocolate please!" When she leaves, Nellie turns to me with a more serious look on her face.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why are you asking?"

"I mean, specifically, are you okay?"

"Honestly, I'm not, but it makes me feel bad. Getting adopted was my dream right? And I love Dan and Phil. But sometimes, I-I- I just miss them still. And it's weird not always having someone in the same room as me. I miss things from different parts of my life. And it's weird. I never actually had a chance to take everything in, it was just dealing with shit in the moment or always busy, always talking. But now... I have time to myself to think about it. There's no more Aunt Karen to fuck up my life, and the girls aren't here to distract me. So, in a way, I'm the worst I've been ever now, emotion wise. But I feel the best I have in a lot of years." Nellie poked at the whipped cream on her drink with her pinky.

"Honestly, Lanie, I can't empathize with you, because this isn't something I can relate to. But you're my best friend in the entire world and I want you to be okay. Okay? I don't think you'll ever completely get over, you know. But, it will be fine, because Dan and Phil are here for you, and I'm here for you, and let's all be happy! Because happiness, right? It'd the best!"

I laughed, "Yeah, I'm probably just trying to get over a big life change. What am I worried about? I still miss my parents, but there's nothing I can do, right?" My drink had arrived, and I took a sip. Mmmm. Hot chocolate was my favorite warm drink, especially when Papa made it. I hoped Nellie was right. I hoped I would be fine.

A/N: My allergies are being unusually bitchy today and my throat hurts so bad so I decided to write. The only problem is that normally I put my music up all the way and just sing badly (if you know me irl you will know just how badly), it helps me concentrate, idk. I can't sing today which feels like a waste of perfectly awesome music I could be hardcore jamming too. Oh dear lord, did I really just say that? I'm so lame. You know that gif of Phil lying in bed just sort of spazzing out surrounded by tissues and a totoro (It's from when they lived in Manchester)? If you do, that's how I feel rn. Well, I hope your day is better than mine!

~ Skye xx