To Save My Daughter

Part 17: Erased From My Own Life

Xander’s POV

Here she is in my arms, and I don’t know what to do? I want to keep her here with me, but she is right. I took her, tried to make her conform to my will. I should have known a creature with that much passion would never give in to me so easily. I have never met someone so complicated. She has no understanding what she does to me. When she cries, my heart breaks. When she rages at me, it takes every ounce of strength to control myself. Never once in my life, have I allowed someone to speak to me in that manner. One moment she is so fragile and needs to be protected. The next she’s a fierce as tiger, with the mouth of a truck driver. What am I going to do with her? How am I going to keep her, without actually losing her.

If I force her to stay, she’ll close herself off…. Do I set her free and pray she comes back to me? Or do I continue to keep her here, until her will is broken…. No, I refuse to break her will. That is the part that draws me to her. She is mine, I know she is. She needs to figure that out herself.

Back to Ava’s POV

Last night was like nothing I had felt before or experienced before. Just waking up in his arms felt so right. Still today was a new day, and I needed to figure out what to do. Am I just going to give in and let the chips fall where they may, or am I going to try to find a way to freedom. Still after these few days here with him, I don’t know if I could go back to my life, knowing he was not in it.  

I snuggled into his shoulder, again taking in his sent. I hated being this conflicted.

Suddenly I felt him kiss the top of my head.

“Good morning, love.”

“Morning.” I replied, not caring he used that little pet name. Fighting it didn’t seem relevant anymore, after last night.

“Ava, love?:

“Hummm?” I replied.

“I have been thinking, and you are right. I took you from everything. Even though I took care of the loose ends, so you wouldn’t be missed. I still kidnapped you and Grace. For that I am sorry.”

“Took care of loose ends?” I interrupted.

“Well yes.” He sounded nervous. “I took the liberty of having your house packed up, and everything brought here. I got ahold of your ex-husband, compelled him to not look for you two. In fact I removed you from your life, not thinking of the consequences. I was blinded by the fact that I had found you after all these years, and blinded by my desire for you.” He paused.

I sat there trying to take in what he just told me. I had been erased from my own life. This made the anger I felt last night, come rolling back. Sitting up, I hit him in the chest. Screaming, “How could you do this? I knew giving myself to you was a mistake. Letting myself feel anything for anyone is always a mistake. It is always me that gets hurt.”

I jump out of bed, wrapping a sheet around me, I began to pace. Looking at him just sitting there, let the anger boil over. “If I had a stake, I’d put it through your heart.” I screamed.

“Ava, please listen to me. I am trying to make things better. I don’t want you to think of me as a monster. The way I handled things was wrong. I see that now. You have made me see that.”

I couldn’t listen. I hated him. The desire to get away grew. Walking into the bathroom, I slammed the door, and locked it behind me.  

I could hear him thrashing around in the room. I heard wood and glass breaking, scaring the crap out of me. I backed away from the door. Shit, what am I going to do?