Follow The Rain

Seventeen

It was safe to say that I felt the best I'd felt in months. It seemed that I was able to just exist that night, with no burdens, no dead feelings hanging around in my mind. I felt as though I could just let go and enjoy the moment. That was how Matthew made me feel - at peace with myself and the world and, most importantly, Camryn.

After dinner, we walked home in the dark and, even though the cold was unbearable, I somehow felt content as long as Matthew was walking beside me. With the scent of rain in the air and Matthew's arm around me, I sighed inwardly and wondered if Camryn had stayed, would she have gotten the chance to feel bliss like this? Would she be able to live past her pain, like I was slowly but steadily doing?

The road seemed longer than it was but I didn't mind. I'd traced those steps my whole life, with Camryn, with Matthew, with my family. The road almost held a certain memory and I felt it meant something to me that no other object ever had.

Matthew pulled me closer to him in the growing wind, his scarf enveloping my face. I laughed and I knew he was smiling, then he moved the thick material away from my face so I could breathe. As his fingers brushed my nose and his other arm tightened around my waist, I wondered how on earth I was lucky enough to have him - how on earth he could love me. I was someone who had done nothing but push him away selfishly, only caring about my own problems. He was probably the most forgiving person I'd ever met.

I knew we were near my house when the wind became gentler and Matthew slowed his pace. He guided me to the left and I heard the familiar scraping of metal as he opened the gate. I felt droplets on my hair and looked up. The rain slowly started to increase, landing on my nose and running down inside my collar.

My lips smiled on their own accord as the water seeped through my coat and into my chest. I breathed in the sublime scent and tasted the drops on my lips. My skin crawled with shivers but I ignored it, taking in the complexity. To think that someone somewhere across the world could have tasted the same drop of rain, could have felt the same moisture on their cheeks and smiled in amazement at the wonder of nature.

I blinked at the drops and turned back to Matthew. We stood silently in the night, merely taking in the scene. "It's incredible," I expressed, holding out a hand to feel the beads of rain rest in my palm.

"It is," he agreed and his voice sounded muffled in the misty atmosphere. The rain fell harder and soon it was pouring but still we stood. My teeth chattered in my smile but my heart felt warm. Then Matthew placed a hand in my outstretched one, engulfing it in heat.

"We should go inside," he said but neither of us moved.

"Thank you for tonight," I contributed.

"You're welcome, friend."

He tugged me to him and wiped the moisture from my face with his scarf, but pointlessly as the rain continued to pelt down on us. Then he took both my hands in his and squeezed them. "Dance with me?"

I shook my head then answered, "If I have to."

His hands moved to my waist and I clasped my arms around his neck, only just reaching because of his height. Then we were closer than before and swaying gently to an imaginary beat, but one that seemed to resound simultaneously through our minds. I felt at home in the rain and in his arms, fascinated with the fact that he was mine and I was his to keep. For as long as we had.

We leant into each other and moved slowly from side to side. "Just warning you, I'm a terrible dancer," Matthew said into my ear.

"I know," I laughed. "But so am I."