Follow The Rain

Twenty Three

"What are you doing here? It's nearly midnight."

"Your parents aren't home," he said matter-of-factly. I noticed the slur in his words.

"Maybe you should drink some water," I suggested, moving towards the kitchen but he grabbed my arm before I could go any further. "What happened, Matthew? "He said nothing, I pulled my arm away. "Why don't we sit on the couch and I'll call your mom, okay?"

"No. Don't call her. Let's just stay here, the two of us," he said quickly and took my face in his hand. The kiss was short but there was no doubt of the alcohol I had tasted on his lips. I shook my head.

"I'm calling her." I turned but he pulled me back and onto the couch. "Matthew, you should be at home right now, sleeping."

"Kayla, I need you right now," he whispered. "Let me stay."

I sighed. "Okay."

Hastily I wiped my face with the back of my hand. I was still sitting on the floor, wondering how I got there. How I got here, in such a miserable place again. My wrist hurt, my feet were bleeding and my head throbbed and worst of all, my heart was broken.

I thought - I can't believe I actually thought that he loved me. What ever happened to my logical thinking? Ha, that disappeared when Camryn killed herself. The old Kayla would never have been this stupid. No. She would've seen it coming. She would've done something to stop it; she would've saved herself before it was too late.

And now it was too late.

Slowly I stood up, taking care to step right onto my bed so that my feet wouldn't receive any more damage. For the first time in weeks, I felt alone. But not just alone - I felt lonely. Somehow the only person who I could talk to, the only person I truly trusted with all my being, the only person I loved with what seemed all my heart, had destroyed everything I knew right in my face.

I should've known that my life would never be "normal", not after everything that's happened. I should've expected this.

I lay back down onto the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut as more tears came. I hated crying. For me, it was weakness. They say that a hard time makes you stronger but all that this year has made me is weaker. I heard a soft sound on my window and concentrated on it. Rain. Of course. I shook my head, wanting to laugh at myself. In fact, I did.

I sat up and laughed. Because it was all so funny. First, my twin commits suicide because she had no friends, then I go blind because I was crying and didn't see the wall I hit my head on. The irony. Then, I have an overdose of pills because I thought that chemicals would solve my problems. And last but not least, I fall in love with my childhood best friend who promises me the world then rips it to pieces afterwards.

The naivety and stupidity of humans was hilarious. But it was also inevitable because I was one of those humans and I had been very naive and very stupid. "What have I done?" I asked myself.

"What have you done?" came a voice from my doorway and I jumped in surprise. Then, I started trembling.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a low voice, trying to control my fear. I heard the crunch of glass beneath shoes as he came closer.

"Can't I see my girl when I want to?" I could hear the smile in his voice but in my head, it was sickly.

"You need to leave. Please leave," my voice was barely a whisper as I forced out the words. Images from last night flashed through my mind and I tried hard not to let myself cry again.