Fanboy (boyxboy)

Song Beneath the Song

"It's a good idea," Tyler put his hand on Adam's shoulder.

"Yeah, it is."

They were backstage during one of their shows, watching while Brent played Break Myself, the song Maddox wrote him and "leaked" after their breakup. Brent was hoping that every fan in the audience would share the video and Maddox would get the hint - that he still wanted to be with him.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Liar," Tyler squeezed his shoulder and let go again. "I know why you're lying, but still. You don't have to lie, Adam."

"I've spent all this time watching him in love with someone else," Adam pointed out. "Why should this be different?"

"You know why it's different."

"It's exactly the same," Adam closed his eyes.

When Maddox showed up in Chicago, Adam knew what he had with Brent was over. Brent hadn't even had to say it. Finding out Maddox had given Brent a ring? That was just the icing on top.

Once again, Brent fell apart, and Adam could only sit there and hold him while he cried. The sight of Maddox's engagement ring on Brent's hand only made things worse. Why? What was the point of pretending they could make a marriage work when they couldn't even make a relationship work?

Adam kept that to himself. He slept alone in his cold bed at night, wishing Brent would get upset enough to crawl in with him like he had in the past. But Brent was drawing lines all over the place.

They finished the show and spent that night on the bus. For once it was good to be out of the hotel so Adam couldn't think about what he was missing. While Brent and Zack watched video after video, sure Maddox would get the message, Tyler sat with Adam.

"You're allowed to be upset, man, you gotta get it out though," Tyler insisted. "Don't hold it in."

"Yeah, okay," Adam had a thought. Don't hold it in. Maybe he wouldn't. "What's that thing Jimmy's always saying?"

"The pedo one? If she bleeds she can-"

"No, ew," Adam shuddered. "That thing about getting over someone."

"The best way to get over someone is to-"

"Get under someone else!" Jimmy finished from across the bus.

"Yeah, that," Adam watched the look on Tyler's face.

"I'd tell you not to but I feel like you've already decided."

"Yeah," Adam texted Joe, knowing his text sounded way more flirty than he felt.

"Will you at least pick a guy who's actually single?" Tyler huffed, pulling Adam's phone away from him.

"Hey, that's-"

"Oops," Tyler dropped the phone as he tried to keep it from Adam.

"Asshole, it broke."

"Just get a new one."

"I don't have a choice now," Adam ran his finger over the cracked screen. He could read the reply but the colors on the display were all kind of warped. "Ugh, you're the worst."

"Karma. Maybe you should stay away from guys who are taken."

"They have an open relationship."

"Whatever, I'm staying out of it."

They had a day off the next day and Adam had to pretend not to notice that Brent was going to the airport. He didn't have to ask, it was obvious where Brent would go, but Adam still wished Brent would at least talk to him about it. Especially since Brent had always gotten mad about Adam keeping secrets.