H.E.L.P. ... I'm addicted

Part 5 - The great protector

A week in to rehab, Lindsey was having regular visits with his doctor, the shaking of his hands a norm now as he could barely take care of Stevie. Back and forth he paced while the doctor took notes.

"Mr. Buckingham, what you are experiencing is absolutely expected with your type of addiction."

"It's keeping me from doing my job, the job I promised to do."

"And what is that?"

"Take care of Stevie," looking out the window as the light was even too bright, sheilding his eyes.

"Right now you need to take care of yourself, we can take care of her."

"You don't seem to understand," turning back around, "...I want to."

"Stevie is in the best of care, as are you, so it's important to not let yourself stress more than needed - it will hinder your recovery."

"I guess I sort of feel responsible..."

"For what?"

"For allowing this to even happen to her, to myself...The drinking problem that I had was due to her, due to everything that we've been through. I let her push me away when I could have been more of a man, fighting for her, but I didn't...I let my own anger keep us from reconciling, turning to booze instead of being truthful with my own feelings. Maybe if I was there, if I was with her, she wouldn't have ever got addicted."

"There's no way to tell if that would have helped with you being there or not, she was obviously put on the drug for the doctor's well being...not hers."

"I'd kill him with my bare hands," looking down at his that he fought so hard to keep still.

"Let's bring this back to you, huh? You're actually doing quite well for coming off of such strong liquor, Whiskey anyway. I'm thinking that you generally wanted to stop, to get help, am I right?"

"Well, of course, Stevie just wouldn't enter this place with out me so this is why I am detoxing for good."

The doctor's phone went off, him answering as the nurse was heard over the speaker, claiming that Stevie was experiencing an extreme withdrawal and asking for Lindsey. He was out the door in seconds, holding on to the rail down the hall, fighting back tears as the closer he got to her, the louder she got! She sounded pitiful, as if she was actually dying, blood curdling screams as he bolted through the door to find her writhing across the bed in agony.

"Stephanie," taking her in to his arms, trying to keep her still. "I'm here, I'm right here," rocking with her.

"Oh my God, it hurts! Oh God, help me! Lindsey, I just want to die! Make it end!"

"Don't just stand there!" Lindsey yelled at the nurse. "Get her something!"

"We can't, Mr. Buckingham, she is at that stage in her detox that no pills shall be admitted."

"Are you insane?! Look at her!"

"I know it's horrible, it looks torturous but the only thing we can do is keep her comforted."

"God, take me...take me now! I can't do this! I can't!"  fighting Lindsey's hold now as he had to pull her back.

"Look at me, Stephanie! Stephanie, just look at me! Focus on me, baby!" taking her chin as he turned her head around, watching as she bit down on her bottom lip where it began to bleed. "Stop, Stevie, stop!" rubbing her jaw, trying to get her to unclench her teeth. "I love you so much," tears streaming down his face while staring in to her glazed over eyes. "You are a fighter! You fight this! You can do it," lowering his voice while laying his forehead to hers, caressing the back of her head. "I can't live with out you..." touching the corner of her lips. "I need you...I need us...WE need each other...Don't give up on me because I have not gave up on you..."