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OH HOW COULD I FORGET WALMART! (September 12th, 2013)

God I'm an idiot, how could I forget the other thing I did in Walmart!

After the Bag N Save incident, my mom said we had to go to Walmart... Haha that was fun...

Well my mom was taking forever to pick the stuff she needed so I went exploring...

More like on a rampage though...

Lets see, first I went up to a lady and was like "Have you seen a man here??"

"Who, your dad, honey?"

"No this man following me!"

"A man you say?"

"Ya he- well there he is!" I say pointing at thin air.

"Where?"

"Right in front of you! Can't you see him!?"

"No..."

"Please tell me you see him now cause he's stalking towards you..."

"Girl I really dont see anyone!"

"Go! Hurry! He's running now! There's something behind his back! Go now!"

"Miss really ther-"

"No no now! Go! He is running at you! Go!" And she freaks and runs out the store... Haha I loved it.

So after that I run down to the Nerf gun aisle and grabbed one of the guns and a scarf. I tied the scarf to my head and went on a hunt. I was the ninja. So I ran down random aisles and shot the people that were shopping. They didn't even see me! I was running down this isle when I spotted this worker stocking some dolls up. Smirking, I hid in the next aisle.

Pushing some dolls out of the way, I had a clear view of him. "Pst! Hey guy with the stupid badge!"

He looked up. "May I help you?" He said looking around.

"Yeah retard, get me out of this box!"

"Huh?" He saaid looking around again.

"The box idot!"

"What box!"

"The box your holding dumb ass!"

He looks down at the baby doll in the box he was about to stack up. "Its just a doll.."

"And what are you, God? Get me out of the damn box!" He dropped the box.

"Holy shit retard why'd you do that! That hurt!"

"S-sorry?"

"Yeah you better be! Now pick me back up!" He eyed the box then picked it up slowly. (At the time I had to keep myself from laughing cause the idiot had no clue I was doing this!) "Now open up the box, fella."

"But dolls can't talk!" He squeaked and I mean squeaked his voice cracked and everything!

"Ever seen Toy Story, smart one? Yeah we can, just not when we don't want to! Now don't test me! I've been stuffed in a fucking box, thrown into a truck, shipped off to Walmart, and now I'm in the hands of a retard! GET ME OUT!" He actually started opening the box! Then some other worker came up to him.

"What the hell are you doing?" The guy jumped droping the box.

"It -it talked!"

"What the hell you been drinking Steve? Toys don't talk!" The other worker snapped.

"Yes it did, it talked! It wanted me to get it out of the box!" The other guy sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"What ever, just get back to work." Then sighed.

"Okay"

"And pick up the doll you dropped!"

"No fucking way dude, you do it!" He yelled and rushed off.

I was about to piss my pants at that comment. After the second guy left, I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.

That went on for about ten minutes...

Hm oh then I was with the dressers they had out and there was a big one and when some guy started comming down the aisle. I hid in it quickly. He went down the aisle, looking at dressers. When he stopped at the one I was in, I threw the door open, smirking as he screamed "What teh fuck!" After he contoliled his heart rate, he glared at me. "What the fuck was that!?"

"Dude I just found Narnia, don't hate!"

"Huh?"

"I FOUND NARNIA!"

"No you didnt'!" "Yeah I did!"

"No you did not!" Then I remembered the stuffed rabbit I had taken with me as my second in command when I went on the Nerf ninja war.

"But look see I went in and this rabbit started to talk to me!"

"Why is there toilet paper tied around its head?"

"Uhhhhhh it's a ninja?"

"Okay lady you're crazy!"

"No come see!" I shoved him in the dresser, then shut it in his face. Running away laughing, I found my mom just finishing up at the register.

"Hey honey ready to go?" She asked while paying the worker. I looked behind me to see a big mean worker heading my way with a scowl on his face.

"Yeah let's go! I, uh, forgot to water the cat!" I stuttered and ran out the store.

The sad thing was that I actually said "Water the cat." Look how good I am at lying...

Oh was I in rare form yesterday...

Life Lesson...

Never go to Walmart with me...

Unless you want to die...

Bubblez

(I think I'm good with updating for awhile...)