Darcy's diary [ h.s. updating ]

2.

Dear Mommy,

I asked Daddy why you haven't come home. He cried a lot. Uncle Louis took me to my room and made me sit down on the bed. He said that you were in a better place. What does that even mean?

Love,

Darcy ♡

Sorry, I cried. I didn't mean to.

- * - * -

Uncle Niall sings to me my favorite song which is little things. When I couldn't sleep Mom would sing it to me and it became my lullaby. She would sing Isn't She Lovely a lot, too.

I fell asleep and when I opened my eyes, Auntie Eleanor was seated on the chair next to my bed.

"Baby, it's time for dinner" she smiles, but I can sense something different at the way she looks at me.

"Is Mom home yet?" I ask.

"Not yet baby girl..."

"Okay" I sigh.

Auntie Eleanor feeds me pasta and Auntie Perrie and Danielle (Yes, I am keeping Danielle in the story) come so that Auntie Eleanor can sleep.

Aunt Danielle gives me a bath and Aunt Perrie sings me to sleep because Mommy hasn't come home yet.

I close my eyes and I dream of my Mommy and Daddy.

- * - * -

louis

Seeing Harry completely and utterly broken hurt me beyond words. He is my best friend and having to deal with the loss of Melody and a responsibility of raising two kids won't be very easy.

My child is due in a month and frankly, Eleanor and I will be working together to raise her. Yes, we're having a baby girl. I hope the stress doesn't get to Eleanor but I wouldn't blame her. Melody was her best friend. They did almost everything together.

"Hey, mate" I stand up to greet Harry who looks like the life has been drained out of him.

"The boys are helping in the preparations for the burial" I carefully explain.

He looks away and tears stream down his face.

"Okay..." He says, his eyes focus on the ground.

[ earlier ]

"Harry can't go and make calls for the funeral!" I raise my voice over the phone.

"I know that, lou. We can't blame him if he blanked out" Liam sighs.

"Fcking why!" I hear Niall's voice in the background. He is sobbing, obviously. He loved Mel more than anything.

"Don't you dare use that language in the kitchen!" I hear Eleanor bark through the sobs.

"Baby girl's watching TV in the living room. She has no idea on what's going on" Liam explains.

"Whatever happens, do not let her find out. You know the press. We'll tell her in the right time.." I sigh and try to hold the tears back. I need to be strong for Harry and Soph.

"Louis, the press found out" Paul walks in sighing, tears flowing down his cheeks, confirming my assumptions.

I just give Paul a shaky nod since I'm too drained to rant on about how they found out.

"Zayn will be on the way to pick us up and get the preparations started. The girls will watch over Soph for the night" Liam explains.

"Okay, I'll call from time to time" I say into the phone. "We might come over. He needs to see Soph" I added, ending the call.

harry 

"Mr. Styles, what would you like her to wear?"

"Mr. Styles, the death certifcate is for release"

"Mr. Styles, you can take Ivan home soon"

"Mr. Styles, everything alright?"

"Harry, the press found out"

I place my head in my hands, blocking everything out. I can't take in anything. Is this all real? Yes, it is. She was there, on the hospital bed. Completely and utterly lifeless.

"Harry, I think we should go home" Louis says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"No, I'm coming with Zayn and the boys for the preparation" I croak.

"You need to see Soph before blanking out again. She needs you and I bet she's confused and lonely..." he says, giving me a weak smile.

Darcy. My baby girl. She saw me break down on the floor. Did I hurt her? Of course I did. I needed to be strong for her and I failed terribly.

"Okay, then we'll go" I agree and stand up.

After being bombarded by the paparazzi, the drive home remains silent. It's a scary and painful type of silent. I look out the windshield as Louis drives carefully. This Range Rover held so many memories of me, Melody and Darcy. I couldn't help let a sob come out.

"Daddy! Is Mommy home yet?" my little girl bounces up and down in front of me, looking behind if her Mom arrived.

"Soph, go back to bed" Dani calls out.

I shake my head and walk past her. I plop down on the couch and Soph stands in front of me.

"Where is Mommy?!" she cries, sitting helplessly on the floor.

I shake my head and hide my face in my hands as fresh tears begin to fall.

"I want mommy!" She screams, throwing a tantrum.

Louis comes and picks her up. She throws a fit as she is lifted onto Louis' shoulder and brought upstairs to her room.

Eleanor and the boys come in and gives me a comforting embrace.

"I couldn't tell her yet..."