Darcy's diary [ h.s. updating ]

12.

Harry's POV

"Come on, Ivan. Stop crying please. Open your mouth for dada" I groan as my three year old son cries in his high chair.

Three years old. Three years since she left our lives. Three years since she left our princess and prince. The pain of losing her hasn't left one bit. I know she's happy wherever she is, but damn - the guilt won't just leave. Why did I have to be such a sleepyhead? I could've saved her. But I didn't.

Ivan throws his blue baby spoon at me and I sigh as I pick it up from the floor. Darcy comes running into the kitchen with her pink school bag slung over her shoulder and two books in her arms.

"Good morning, Dad" she smiles at me and kisses Ivan on the cheek before grabbing an apple from the fridge.

"Aren't you late for school, young lady?" I tease and she huffs. 

"I'm not. Skylar and her Mom are picking me up today anyway" she says as she takes a seat on the kitchen counter.

"I could drive you?" I offer. I have to admit that ever since Melody left, I haven't paid much attention to Darcy. With recording for our comeback and farewell album, juggling my time with Ivan and her, plus trying to stay sane, it has been rough.

"Nah. I'm sure you're busy anyway" she mumbles. As if on cue, a car parks out front.

"That's my ride. I have to go. Bye, Ivan" she waves. 

"Bye Daddy. I love you" She runs up to me and kisses me on the cheek.

I'm taken back seven years ago - to the moment when I hugged her again for the first time after four damn long years. Her eyes were full of fear and innocence, but upon hearing her Mom's voice she finally trusted me again. I look at her again and see how much she has grown. A tear slips from my eye and I wipe it away quickly before she notices. My little girl is growing up a little too fast.

"Love you too baby girl. Have a great day." And with that, she's gone for the day.

I miss you, Mel. I look over at Ivan who's fiddling with his stuffed bear.

"Up to see Mom today, little man?"

I pick up my phone from the counter and send a quick message to Melody. Yes, when they buried her she had her phone with her. I didn't have her number cut off. I wanted to be able to call or text her whenever I wanted to.

To: Mel <3

Going to see you today with Ivan. I love you!

♡  

The car drive is long. Much longer than I expected since I needed to pass by the flower shop. I glance over to Ivan who's buckled up in his carseat making gurgling sounds. I feel bad for not waiting for Darcy to come back until she finshes school but I could take her some other day. I just needed to see her again, today.

I park the car nearest to her grave and unbuckle my seatbelt. I sigh and my stomach turns. It's been two months since I last visited. She couldn't be mad, right? I grab my phone and send a text to Louis.

To: Lou

Going to see Mel today after two months. Beyond scared. Ha :(

From: Lou

Go. She's not mad, ok? :)

To: Lou

Sigh. Fine. I'll talk to her. Pick up Darce later?

From: Lou

Sure. We miss having her over. I'll drop her off when you're back :) x

♡  

Darcy's POV

Skylar's mom drops the both of us at school and we make it in for first period. I honestly don't want to go anymore. Maybe I should have been home schooled instead.

"Okay, class. Turn your book to pages 78 and 79" our Science teacher instructs.

I sigh as another ball of paper is thrown at me. Skylar huffs as she glares at the mean kids.

"Don't mind them, okay? They're just jealous of you" she comforts.

I nod and look down at my book.

Here's to another awful day.